Straight Guy and Gay Guy each have been out of town for a few days. Straight Guy is on a family trip, and we'll hear from him later in the week. 

Gay Guy just came back from a weekend of hiking and lounging in the great outdoors. GG likes the outdoors. A walk in the woods, a hike, some kayaking, a little biking -- I'm there. I secretly like being called outdoorsy; it sounds sexy, a reliable kind of sexy.  

People sometimes are surprised that I like hiking, but when I prod them, turns out that they've confused hiking and camping.  GG does not like camping. GG does not camp. He does not carry his world on his back, pitch a tent, use a rock for a pillow. He packs water, snacks, and some power bars, but not groceries and a portable stove.  

I am happy to be out all day, I just prefer to take a nice shower, eat a nice dinner, and sleep in a real bed. I don't want to wake up sweaty with bugs on me. 

--Gay Guy


Straight in Upstate said...

It's like I don't know you anymore, GG. But you're absolutely right, I equate hike with camp - I can see the hiking thing.

Gay Guy said...


What's up. Are you surprised that I like hiking? Or that I hate camping?

Kathryn said...

But. Hiking is walking in the woods. Correct? With bugs, poison ivy and gnats. Correct? If you have to use's a tree, or a bush. Correct? If you sweat, there's no shower till you get home...and the mosquitos will probably make a meal of you before then anyway. Give me a screened-in porch and a chilled glass of white anyday. GG: Nature's all yours.

Straight in Upstate said...

I have to admit, I didn't know you were outdoorsy - your last few summer vacations aside, I guess. Kathryn raised good imagery - although using the facilities is less problematic for us menfolk. Hiking can be icky. No, I totally remember that you don't camp. On a related note, my wife might be willing to sleep in a cabin somewhere...our son is starting to yap about camping.

Gay Guy said...


I admit that the great outdoors is a relatively new habit for me. I had to rid myself of all the memories of my horrible failures as a Boy Scout.

Once I shed the Boy Scout shame and decided it was okay to skip the tent part, I decided that the solace of nature is for me.

I am even going tubing over July 4th. Can you believe I am overcoming my fear of danger and messiness?

Gay Guy said...


The 'facilities' issue is where men have a slight leg up over women: accomplishing some of our waste removal is easy. Screen for traffic, find a a tree, unzip, go, zip. The ease of this transaction is something that I really enjoy about being a guy.

The other transaction is just as complicated for men as for women. I solve this problem with hikes that offer real rest stops.

Yes, it takes some planning to be Gay Guy.

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