Give Me a Ring Sometime

Straight Guy,

Enthusiastic commenter and fellow blogger Kathryn posted a great comment about rings on men.

Kathryn, I'm really surprised that you'd guess that only 20 percent of married men wear wedding rings. Really, that low? I am trying to think of any straight married men who don't wear wedding rings; there's a few at work, but I think that's a cultural thing.

Wedding/commitment rings are important as code, not just as bijou. I see a guy who's attractive, first piece of evidence I search for is the ring. Ring check. Ring on the wedding finger -- deal killer. Ring on the right hand -- "Are you gay . . . or European?" Either way, I respect the ring. It's a game stopper.

About half of the committed gay men I know wear some kind of ring. I like the rings for their symbolic value and their beauty. I also like that they are a neon sign blinking, "No Vacancy, no vacancy." I get pissed off when unavailable men don't wear some kind of ring. I just think that taken men should wear some kind of badge or tattoo that says "off the market." Look guys, take pity on your single brothers and remember how much work dating is.

A couple of years ago, a female friend said, in a fit of anger, that married men who don't wear wedding rings should be shot. I used to think her comment was harsh; several single years later, I get it.

If you get a ring, I think that people should get to choose or at least approve the ring. Several years ago, a good friend moved in with his boyfriend. It wasn't just a living arrangement, it was a symbol of their commitment. Then the BF surprised my friend with another symbol of commitment: a ring. A big fat, bright, chunky ring. Oh, it was not lovely. Gold, wide, big setting around a flat emerald bigger than my thumb nail. Like a green large signet ring. My friend just didn't know what to say or do. It wasn't his style, he wasn't sure if he wanted a ring at all -- and certainly not that ring. But, how do you say, "Honey, how kind. But could I pick another?" Last I saw, he was still wearing it. It was just easier -- and more loving -- to keep wearing it, comfortable or not.

--Gay Guy

131 comments:

Michael Rivers said...

That's interesting. I see A LOT of wedding rings while walking around downtown Minneapolis. Or it's just that every hot guy I check out is married. lol.

I think guys in general (broad generalization--yes) tend to not wear jewelry? I don't wear anything. Not even a watch.

One day I'd like to think I could be one of the guys walking around downtown Minneapolis and wearing a wedding ring.

Straight in Upstate said...

For me, rings are like hats - I like them, they don't like me...or more likely, I choose ones that look stupid. Until matrimony. After we got engaged, my wife and I took a day trip to the mountains and cutesy mountain towns and I picked out an engagement ring for me. I was thinking hippy-dippy with suns and stars on it, but selected a gold-fill & silver twist. Then I started wearing it on my left hand and really confused people. "Did y'all elope? Did I miss the wedding?"

The ring went in a drawer for years, then a few years ago I found it and put it back on (right hand) and kept it. It wasn't expensive & is showing its age but it looks nice. And I'm very happy with my wedding ring - we chose well.

I understand not wearing one for safety reasons - caught in machinery and finger ripped off? Thank you, no. But other than that, no-ring-guys remind me of the saying I heard in the rural redneck bars of my youth: "I ain't married - I didn't change my name, she did."

Straight Guy said...

Are you sure the ring-gifting boyfriend wasn't just a Green Lantern fanboy?

Otherwise, I guess I've just been off the market for so long that it's something I never look for or notice. Unless someone is really blinged out, but they are looking for attention anyway, so I ignore them, too.

But the good news is that I now have an ego-saving excuse for why no one ever tries to pick me up. Not because I'm old, cranky, and boring... it's this ring!

David said...

Personally, I hate jewelry. I've tried rings and necklaces and I always end up fidgeting with them. If I ever end up wearing something, it will be a simple wedding band. And even then, I'll probably be driven mad by its presence for a while. Weird how I actually hope for that kind of irritation.

Kathryn said...

Ya know why I chose a percentage so low? From the back to school nights. I have two sons, one at the highschool (4500+ students...a freakin' nightmare), and one at the MS. Lots o' couples there. And unless these moms are there with their boyfriends, most guys=no ring. I just don't get it. I figured the women wear theirs 'cause they've got big chunks of diamonds on 'em...it's almost a status thing. This is in upscale surburbia...I don't know. Maybe the guys start out wearing them and then, when that 50% divorce-rate group gets antsy, they take it off? I'll bet that's it. If they start w/one on and when it disappears....uh-oh.
I will tell you that there's nothing worse than being hit on by a guy wearing a wedding band. I'm thinking, "No! You're supposed to be one of the GOOD ones." Then I resolutely walk away.

Gay Guy said...

I read some place that the number one thing that men leave in their trousers when they drop them off at the dry cleaners is . . . wedding bands.

If there is one thing I can't stand in a man, it's stupidity.

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