Gay Guy a Gym Going

Straight Guy,

Thanks for taking the lead on recent posts. My life has been overly busy of late. One of my best friends was in town, adding to the fun.

Another place where my time has gone of late is my recommitment to the gym and to restarting working with a trainer. (Do we every get out of the back-to-school mode?) The trainer part is such an indulgence of money, especially in precarious financial times, so I am trying to cut back in other areas. Apparently, not trying very hard, according to my most recent Visa statement.

Back to the gym: I've worked out -- if you can call it that --on and off for years. Seems like just as soon as I am making visible progress, I fall off my routine. Another example of my mildly self-destructive behavior?

Working with a trainer is great: No excuses, just working out until I'm ready to throw up. I am doing things that I never thought I'd be able to do, so the pain and nausea are worth it. It's very good for the self esteem. Especially for this gym-phobic gay. Do childhood anxieties every really end?

My trainer has encouraged me to "visualize success." I think she means my body on my terms on my schedule. My style of "visualizing" is pretty basic: I point out guys at the gym with nice bodies (ones that seem achievable, not god-like). I've only done this three times, it's not like I'm in a gay bar; it's a predominately straight gym and I am there to perform business, but I'm not blind.

The first guy I pointed at and said, "I wouldn't mind looking like that. Could I get like that?" It got a response from my trainer of, "Okay, maybe with more a lot more cardio and a lot more protein." Strike one. The second guy I pointed out got, "I bet he works out really hard and watches his food intake scrupulously." Strike two. Strike three: "Uhmmm . . . he's, like 24, and hops around this place like it's a gymboree class. You'd have to work out like two or three hours a day every . . . . " It stopped listening.

'Nuf said.

Reminds me of an ancient gay joke about the gym: Gay guy 1, looking at some hunk working out with massive weights: "That guys needs someone to spot him." Guy gay 2: "Don't worry. I spotted him the second he got here."

--Gay Guy