In the Lap of Luxury

Last year, I put up a post on the male torso pillow, a perfect gift for lonely ladies and gay dudes who feel the need to snuggle something, anything, anyone, even if it's just a ribcage and an arm.

Straight guys have responded with the female lap pillow. Somehow, this is sadder... and more depraved. The male pillow at least hinted at a hug and a wish for companionship. The pose of this pillow hints at subservience: the guy's comfort at the lady's expense. Is there a model which will also lower grapes into your mouth?

I love that these pillows are shameless enough to sleep with anyone for a price, no questions asked, but must wear a shirt or a skirt. They have some modesty after all. Anything less would be creepy.

Both versions are available from multiple vendors, just search for "arm pillow" or "lap pillow," place your order, and immediately call your therapist.

--Straight Guy

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