FROM STRAIGHT GUY: Ask the gentleman where he buys his underwear. If he buys them in 5-packs from Target or WallMart, he's probably straight. If he has no idea where his underwear comes from, or what brand he wears, he's probably straight, but taken. Once a momma's boy...
The stereotype is true. Once a straight guy is off the market and not trying so hard to get laid, the quality of his underwear becomes a non-issue. Unsupervised, we wear them until they disintegrate. And then for a few months more. Who likes to buy underwear, anyway?
Still laughing that someone took the time to create this helpful illustration. Are you happy with your "armholes," GG? (A lot of work only to misfire on the labeling for "crotch" and "fly". Note to young readers: Do not trust the SexEd diagrams at Visual Dictionary!) Ideally, if you're able able to use a computer to navigate to the site, you should already have the operational complexities of underwear all worked out.
FROM GAY GUY: A quick look around my gym’s locker room indicates that good underwear always has a name: Calvin Klein, Polo, 2xist (Straight Guy: Say ‘To Exist,’ it’s very gay). There’s a sprinkling of Hanes or FTL, but no representation from J C Penney. So, the gay stereotype holds true: we’re brand whores.
Underwear quality checks never end for gay men. It’s a point of pride. A comfortable sag here and there is okay (if you’re off the dating track), but gaps, tears, or worse, just wouldn’t happen for a gay man. I never really thought about this, but I suppose good underwear counts because we check out each other’s business. The wrapper just means more for us; and thus the miracle of fashion technology that is the ‘contour pouch.’
Straight Guy, how many seams does YOUR underwear have down the back?
Who likes to buy underwear? Am I supposed to be ashamed?
P.S. Tucking your undershirt INTO the waistband of whatever kind of underwear you are sporting looks ridiculous. Please add this as an agenda item at your next Straight Guy meeting.
Readers, we await your comments on this critical topic. Click below...
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