Straight Guy Loves His Mac... Not That There's Anything Wrong With That!

Gay Guy,

Got a new computer today. MacBook Pro.

You know I'm a long-time Apple and Mac computer user. In my 20 plus years as a professional, I've never worked on anything but a Mac. I've never owned anything else either. The first computer I ever touched was an Apple II, back in the early eighties. My family bought an Apple IIe a few year later. I showed up at college with an early model Mac (pictured above, what's a hard drive?). A hit with my floormates, but of no help in meeting girls. I should have known... the Mac is gay.

The San Francisco pedigree, the sleek aesthetic, the rainbow logo. The evidence was there.

Here's a helpful review of the Apple product line from launch to today, with visual examples of every design change along the way.

I'm OK with my computer's orientation, but maybe I'll just hit it with a bit more heavy metal from the iTunes store.

Readers: A few years ago, I helped GG buy a new computer because he's a hopeless technophobe. We were in the Apple retail store, I was talking him through the technical specs, while he was trying to gaydar the specs of the salesmen. I'll let him tell the rest of the story.

I also helped him set up an iPod. Out of the box, he puts it to his ear (cellphone-style) and says "Nina Simone, please." Laugh if you want, but a future-gen iPhone will probably have a feature just like that.

--Straight Guy

Straight Guy,

Oh, you make such fun of me.

I did lust for that Mac, didn't I. Not just because it's foolproof to use, but because of the sleek-as-a-cat style. I really had to give myself permission to buy it (instead of a Dell).

We had fun in the Apple store that day. I had settled on . . . well, you had settled on. . . the basic white Mac PowerBook. Sitting next to it was the brushed aluminum model, which I remember was a few hundred dollars more.

GG (caressing the brushed metal with his fingertips): Is it gay to spend more money just to get the prettier one?
SG: Yes.

As for the rest of the story, Straight Guy and I refer to this as the incident where SG picked the computer and GG picked the salesman. SG figured out which computer I needed, I gulped and agreed to the price. SG raised a finger to summon the attention of a salesman passing by. Apparently I said, loud enough to be heard, "No, not that one. That one," pointing some slab of male yum with dark hair and eyes a third of the way across the store.

Look, I have good manners, but if I am spending more than $1,000 I deserve eye candy.

Here's some more Mac=Gay from Queerty

--Gay Guy