Straight Except for One Guy

Straight Guy,

You know I'm a big Dan Savage fan. Now that's a writer! Much as I like Savage, I don't remember to read his column every week.

But the Thanksgiving holiday gave me more reading time. I loved the first post in this week's column, called Crossing Over. Read his advice to SEFOG.

Savage is gay, so there's some expertise in part of his response to SEFOG:

"I'm going to share a little secret with you about gay men: We're men, real men, just like straight men. We're good at having sex without getting emotionally attached—some of us are a little too good at it—and a single gay man, like a single straight man, rarely passes up a chance to get with someone he's attracted to, even if he wants more than that person can give."

I don't really agree with Savage; I think there comes a point in a gay man's life where you just can't bang (pun intended) your head against the wall fighting the imbalance between what you get and what you want.

--Gay Guy


Michael Rivers said...

I'm finally getting to the point of it not being enough. I never thought i'd get to the point. But I think I have.

Gay Guy said...


Oh, the stories we could share!


Kathryn said...

...and yet, evidently this epiphany does not occur within the straight male.


It seems if the opportunity and willingness presents, the anatomy makes the call.

(I can hear SG yelling at me now. Okay, so maybe in only 90% of the cases.)

Are GGs any more likely to say faithful to their partners than straight....or is it "all in the genes"??

The Expatresse said...

I read Savage Love, and I wondered about that particular point myself.

JD at I Do Things said...

I've always liked Savage's column.

Of course, not being a gay man, I have no real insight on this matter, but it's interesting. I think I agree with Kathryn. Most of the SGs I've known would not think twice.

Gay Guy said...


I can't answer your question of whether gay men are more faithful than straight men. Mostly because I don't hear straight men talking about their extracurricular activities. I think they keep that stuff really secret. Gay men talk about it with each other more; I think that's because monogamy is assumed in straight relationships but not necessarily assumed in gay relationships.

The majority of gay couples that I know are exclusive to each other. They really mimic the picture of marriage that they saw growing up-- that is monogamous parents.

One or two couples I know are "open." One of those couples recently ended their relationship -- part of the reason being that it was too open.

In my experience I'd say that gay men sample freely until they find what they really want, and once they've found it they stick with it.

When I look at the personals section of sites like Craigslist, it's clear it's the men out of town on business that you have to worry about.

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