No More, Mr. Fancypants

Gay Guy,

Thanks for covering the blog while I was away on vacation to Tennessee and Kentucky. Those stops probably aren't high on your list, I know, but we'll soon need to break you out of your KeyWest-SanFran-PTown vacation loop. There are other destinations here in the lower 48, you know.

I had a great time, and filled my days with smoked and fried meats (you can fit a whole turkey in a deep fryer), country music, and outdoor adventures. I even went a few hundred feet down into Mammoth Cave (creepy and wonderful).

But have no fear, there is plenty of fabulousness for your team in Nashville. Some of the dudes are downright fancy. Men wearing tight starched jeans with a pressed crease... add the boots and embroidered shirts and you no longer meet my definition of standard-issue straight guy. I'm not saying they're gay, but along with heavy metal hair bands and tough bikers who wear chaps and fringy jackets, they fall into a category of primping posers who leave the joys of sloppy straightdom behind.

Readers, Gay Guy has often commented on my low-frills sense of style. It's not horrible, but it's not well thought out either. Certainly nothing that can be called a "style." Mostly khakis and collared shirts for work, and jeans and uncollared shirts at home. I can dress myself up, but it's only thanks to Nordstrom's sales staff and a good dry cleaner. I pick the tie and feel good about making that contribution.

Gay Guy is no crazed fashionista, either. But I'm sure he plans and strategizes more than I do, and over the long term, it definitely shows. He's more often an exciting new episode, I'm more often a tired re-run (sometimes shown twice in the same week).

I once worked with a nice guy who wore khaki pants and a blue oxford EVERY day. He must have had at least a week's worth of each. Steve Jobs (Apple CEO) never wears anything but jeans and a black mock turtleneck. I envy that simplicity. I don't think it's because they care about the uniform. In fact, I think it's the opposite, that they don't want to worry about clothes AT ALL.

Maybe if I was single, I'd be trying harder. But maybe, if I was still single, I'd have given up by now, be even worse off, and desperately need a Queer Eye intervention. You can always try a little harder, right?

Readers, how much is too much? Are you attracted to men who wear very affected outfits (cowboy, biker, goth, etc.)? Do you buy it that Steve Jobs wears the same thing everyday so that he can invest his intellect elsewhere? On the flip side, what about the guy on MTV's new Jersey Shore show who spends a half hour every day gelling his hair and invests his intellect in nicknaming his abs "the situation"?

Everyone has a different balance of ego and dignity, I guess.

I don't want to be a hater. Jersey Shore guy says that if I am, then he's "got a full time job" for me. I appreciate that self awareness, but yeah, I generally don't like guys who try so hard. And to be clear, there are some scruffy guys who fall into this category, too (looking at you, Ray LaMontagne).

--Straight Guy

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's not just fancy folks who try too hard. It must take a bit of work to find pants that are always almost (but not quite) falling off your ass. Idiots.

Straight in Upstate said...

"Everyone in here is wearing a uniform, don't kid yourself." Frank Zappa

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Oh hold on SG there is hotness in Khaki's and blue oxfords!! Similar can be said for men in black turtlenecks or "mock neck" and nice man jeans not mom jeans! I don't like the jersey guy thing at all, in fact it is a turn off! Long live the Khaki's, oxford, black turtlenecks and man jeans....

Gay Guy said...

Hey, hey, I am SO a crazed fashionista!

Kathryn said...

Well, yeah. Just as you guys make knee jerk (pun intended) first-impressions on women based on "the whole package", we do, too.

If he looks like he's trying too hard, is too meticulous about every aspect of his attire, then he lives in a bubble of self-imporantence. Anyone else is lucky to ever come in 2nd.

If he dresses down, constantly in duds that require no thought, it says he's just humming along...dressing for the way he expects the world to treat him...no more, no less. I mean, even a standard uniform can have some identity to it, right? That says, "Hello? There's a personality in here, ya know!"

I was taught you present yourself for the job you want...to appear as the person that you want to be. I guess that means different things to different people.

As a girl, I like to look put together, but not over the top...no 2" acrylic nails or 5 lbs of jewels....but I think girls are a whole 'nother post...for a whole 'nother blog!

Spot said...

I am a huge fan of the work boot and scruffy jeans kind of guy. I like to think a man works hard for his living and plays hard later. For casual a nice tshirt or polo and nice jeans with decent shoes does it for me. I don't like guys who looked like they tried to hard. Seriously, who wants a guy who looks like he spends more time getting ready than I did?? That said...my hubby works outdoors twenty four seven...his work uniform consists of old jeans, old tshirts and work boots. If it's cold, throw in some carharts. For casual or dressy occasions...I lay his clothes out. The man is seriously fashion challenged.

As for girls? Takes me 45 minutes tops (thats including showering and washing hair) to leave my house. Takes my daughter, sister and mother closer to two hours. The difference? They have an image they want to present to the world...I'm comfortable with myself, faults and all...therefore no image to project. I think all the fashion overtrying has to do with insecurity. Sorry...I think I wrote a post here...

♥Spot

Gingerella said...

I think the guys who are like that Jersey Shore dude are so full of themselves that their attitude is going to be the most off-putting thing about them, no matter what they're wearing. Spending 1/2 hour to gel hair is just a symptom of the narcissism.

Straight Guy said...

Of course balance is the key. But many of these posers seem to attract tons of women, and that just reinforces their perspective. Jersey Shore guy is a numnut, but he's not lonely. I'll just assume that he's spiritually tormented and forlorn on the inside.

Gingerella said...

Yes, but what kind of women are they attracting? I'll lay odds that they're of the same ilk...

Gay Guy / Straight Guy Archive