We put a call out for more gay/straight advice questions. An anonymous reader posted; here's an excerpt from his question and our thoughts.
There's this guy in my acting class . . . and a few days ago we had this flurry of text messages back and forth. Now, I know it's a text, and a text isn't a substitute for actually speaking to someone, but I just don't know if he was serious or if he was joking. Are there any signs I can watch for, in class, that he might be serious about maybe trying to be with me? I am incredibly confused.
Anonymous, your post doesn't give us quite enough information to go on. I feel like you've left out all the good parts. Why did text you and what did the texts say? In what context did you give him your number? I assume because you were working on an acting assignment together. Serious or joking about what? But, here's a few general thoughts:
First off, guys and their affections can still be confusing, even at your (college) age. So, don't get discouraged by feeling confused. Second, from the limited info I've got, objectively I would say that a lot of texting probably means that he wants something from you. The questions is what does he want, and does he even know what he wants. If the texts were all logistical --when to meet and where --then who knows.
Signs to watch for to see if he's interested? I'd look for whether he makes good eye/face contact when he talks with you, does he hang out for a few minutes after your class to touch base with you, does he generally seem happy to talk with you. Basically, does he act like he finds you interesting and that he looks forward to seeing you.
But, my advice is to get beyond reading tea leaves and get some real information. Make some light, friendly moves and see how he reacts. Suggest something --doesn't need to be intense--and see how he reacts. Does he want to meet at the cafeteria and get something to eat? Just hang out at the library and study?
Again, we think we need more info. Keep in touch.
--Gay Guy
19 comments:
I'm with GG. Not enough info to make an executive summation. Provide the details....GG'll figure it out. If anyone can, he can.
True, true... We all need more info. Why'd they leave out the critical info?
So I love your blog, and I gave you an award today! Come check it out.
Anonymous,
Tell us more! We all want to know/pass on our advice. Let GG/SG work their magic!
Hi again. I'm going to suck up my blush and answer the call for more info.
Umm...more info...okay...
He is my acting partner, we had to do this scene with about five little lines per person, and instead of meeting in the library (a neutral site) he asked if it would be all right to rehearse for class where he lives (a house that he shares with another person, also male) so I guess that was the first thing that kind of made me think.
Second was the message, "If you're having trouble concentrating on your hw, just imagine me with no clothes." Which got the ball rolling and involved much freaking out on my part, and not sure if he was joking or not.
When we're in class together, though partners for the scenes don't have to sit next to each other, he's sat next to me almost every chance he can. Or across from me. I just don't know if I'm reading too much into this, or if there's something there and I'm just a moron.
Hope that new information helps. And thank you so much.
Anonymous,
Ding ding ding. You win a prize. Yes, whatever the story turns out to be, you have reason to think there's a story.
Meeting at his house, inconclusive. "Imagine me with no clothes . . ." What a flirt! I don't say anything like that to other gay men. We'll let SG weigh in here, but I think he'll confirm that this is just not how straight guys talk to each other or to gay men. I don't say it to anyone unless I want them to think of me naked.
Sits near you any chance he gets? I rest my case.
You are not reading too much into this. He's into you. Or he's some kind of an attention whore. I hope it's that he's into you. Let's go with that.
Make a plan to go to step 2.
Friends, thoughts for Anonymous?
Anon, keep us all in the loop.
Amen. And you got more info. Practicing lines at his house? MEOW.
Naked innuendo? Meow. And sitting next to him whenever possible. Further MEOW. However, if he is this bold, I think he can make the first move. Anyone who says "imagine me with no clothes on" is quite capable of saying "coffee?" or better yet, "coffee, tea, or me?"
Hmmm...Picturing GG naked...Sipsie, do not ask me to cross that line!
By the way Anonymous, He's into knowing more about you. (Read: into you!) Get to know him back. Have fun. And for goodness sake, do not let him see any of this!
:) So the ball is in his court?
Thank you, all of you, so much.
Anonymous,
I wouldn't leave the ball in his court. He may very well think that he's throw up a bunch of signals (sitting near you every chance he can), and you need to let him know you've seen them.
I'd suggest you throw out something along the lines of, "Hey, let's get together outside of class and rehearsals and shoot the breeze over a beer." See where that goes.
I'm excited for you. Keep us all in the loop.
Aah, cluelessness, or at least accusations of same. A friend once asked me, "So, if [girl who was hitting on me] got naked and mounted you in public, would you take a hint that she's interested in you?" To which I replied, "Huh?"
GG's right, return the serve and see if he volleys.
"Ding, ding, ding!" ABSOLUTELY.
The "picturing me naked" cinched it for me.
Yeah, he's looking for cues back from you...and you've been hesitating (w/good reason...not being sure what his intentions are)...
Next move...ball in your court.
Serve it up, bay-bee! Let us know how it goes!
I'm actually waiting for him to pick a date and time for our coffee date, but it hasn't happened yet.
Acting has once again, provided more blush fodder. This time, when he came to class, he passed me (already sitting, with someone right next to me) and pressed his cold hand to my cheek on the way by.
I feel like I keep trying to get something solid, but he keeps dodging. And it's frustrating.
Thank you all for your advice! It really is much appreciated.
Hands on the face? Does not happen between friends.
Should I just ambush him after acting one day and try to get everything out into the open?
Anonymous,
Tell us, tell us. What is going on with you and dude?
Quite honestly I have no idea. He hasn't made a move, but he keeps looking at me and standing near me whenever he can. He's frustrating the hell out of me.
We need more specific info. Did you offer him a date for the date? Did you make a specific overture? Or are you just waiting for him to come forward?
He has the busier schedule, so I'm really waiting for him to get the lead out of his ass and pick a date.
And in a recent volley of messages, all he feels at the moment is friendship because he needs to get to know me better.
But how can he get to know me better if he doesn't pick a damn date to actually do it?
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