Marge Simpson in Playboy? Doh!

Gay Guy, Readers,

So I've been honest with you about some early impure thoughts involving the toons of my youth (see previous Veronica/Betty posts). I'll even fess up to a realization I had while watching an old Popeye cartoon where Olive Oyl was strutting her marginal stuff and trying to catch Popeye's attention... I must have been 7 or 8 years old, and spent a few moments wondering, "what is she up to?," before it clicked. She went from annoying to interesting in one moment. Sad, but true, that even Olive Oyl had enough mojo to spark previously dormant hormones.

From there, I passed several years fascinated with the females of the Hanna Barbera cartoons (Betty Rubble, Penelope Pitstop, Judy Jetson) before venturing into "mature" live action fantasies involving Ginger AND MaryAnn ("Take it easy ladies, there's enough Preteen Straight Guy to go around!"). Don't hate on me for mostly rooting for Ginger. Shallow, but expected, right?

Anyhow... This conversation is only marginally appropriate because I am sharing the news that the next issue of Playboy will feature a cover and "modest pictorial" of Marge Simpson. Yeah, she's had a few risqué moments through the years, and I'm sure some boys of the youngest generation had the boy/girl paradigm shift while watching the Simpsons. I say it's healthy. Weird, but healthy.

(To be clear, I am NOT recommending the magazine for kids.... If I had access to a "Women of Gilligan's Island" Playboy pictorial at that age, I might have crumpled to the floor in a hormonally induced seizure.)

OK, now it's your turn. Let us know about the hotties and/or hunks that had a pre-teen impact on you. It can't get any worse than Olive Oyl... Can it?

--Straight Guy

7 comments:

Michael Rivers said...

Did it get any better than Greg Brady?! They don't make 'em like that anymore. I also liked Albert on "Little House." That prairie boy was HOT!

Anonymous said...

What's so wrong with Olive Oyl? There were two incarnations, the scrawny, whiney version from the 1930s Fleischer cartoons, and the curvier, more likeable color version from the 50s. I'll assume you're talking about the latter.

How do I remember these things?

Spot said...

Seriously I don't remember being romantically attracted to any cartoon guys. But if I had been...it totally would have been Fred from the Scooby Doo cartoons. It's all about that ascot baby!

I'd heard about the marge simpson cover/issue. What's next?

♥Spot

The Expatresse said...

Pete Duel of Alias Smith and Jones. Yeah, that dates me, I know.

Oh, also Bobby Sherman.

Conan the Episcopalian said...

Marcia (Marsha?) Brady for the straight boys. What other choices did we have at the time?

Straight in Upstate said...

Not a personal fantasy, but a comment from my son watching Scooby Doo (40 years' worth) constantly: Fred is totally gay - ascot, and inability to hit on Daphne (great recent episode where they're supposed to be on a date as part of their trap). Personally, I think Daphne and Velma have been life partners from the get-go.

Dorn said...

So Marge lists her measurements as 26-26-26 in Playboy. What is she a blue-raspberry fruit roll up?

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