Mainstreaming MILFs and Cougars

Last fall, I mentioned the term "MILF" to Gay Guy, and he puzzled for a few moments before it clicked. I understand that GG has no use for the term in a literal sense. And I admit that I've aged out of the demographic of applicable and ironic use myself. (If anyone is still in the dark on this: "Mom I'd Like to..." First made popular, I believe, in regards to the character known only as Stiffler's Mom in "American Pie").

Yes, it's course and just another form of male objectification. But who uses the F word literally except porn stars and Dick Cheyney? Even if it is taken at face value, there's a compliment in there somewhere, right? It's certainly less offensive than the other circulating alternative, "Yummy Mommy" which seems childish and gross. "Cougars" are the flip-side of the coin, older women on the prowl for young guys.

Obviously sexy women who have kids are not a new phenomenon. But the classification is becoming mainstream. Don't doubt it: Will and Jada Smith are developing a sitcom called "MILF and Cookies," Courtney Cox will soon premier "Cougar Town."

The term MILF implies maturity –– if not sophistication –– and nothing about the woman's morality. "Cougar" seems to imply the opposite, no? One is passive, while the other is predatory. It's a matter of perspective, right?

If youth-based pop-culture is finding mature women to be sexier than before, that's healthy, I assume. And if new cougar Madonna (at 50+) wants to start dating 20 something models, it's the same thing that rich men have been doing (and getting grief for) for years.

Readers, let me know. MILF: crude but complimentary? Cougar: less raw, but more insulting, right?

Also, can this have possibly gone any worse for the ultra-serious Moro Islamic Liberation Front? Good luck with your web domains, dudes.

I'll leave you with a recent SNL skit featuring Cameron Diaz and Alec Baldwin as a "Cougay." (Still doubt that this stuff is mainstream? Note that Baldwin also plays the executive on 30 Rock who champions the show-within-a-show: "MILF Island.")

--Straight Guy


Gay Guy said...

SG, I actually did see that SNL skit and understood it, too.

Straight in Upstate said...

GG, There's a band of guys our age here in town called DILF. I don't know if they flatter themselves that women think they are DILF, or if they are looking for DILF. Given the ego of the average bar band, I'm sure they think they're DILF and I'm sure they're not, at least not without beer goggles.

Kathryn said...

I'm not getting the "Mom" reference...I can understand the concept of a hot older woman and some stud thinking he'd like to "nail" her...but how does the having-given-birth-thing enter into it? What am I missing? Is it an assumption that an older (sexy) woman MUST have reproduced at some time? I'm sure I'm missing something...
Women may not be instinctively led around by...ahem...another part of their anatomy (sorry, guys...jmho)but we admire young hot-ness as much as anybody else. If you're lucky enough to look younger than you actually are, why not adjust your target interests accordingly?

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

Having been on the dating scene not too long ago, I assure that MILF is a compliment, and part of it is loving a real woman: not someone completely plastic or perfect. Maybe someone a little distracted, who has to pick up her kid after an afternoon delight. Among straight men, it seems a little allied with that "real couples porn" stuff. Yes, there are professional/porn/pretty MILF channels, but I assure you it started as a grassroots term.

MILF sort of redefines "hot" -- mature women may be less perky, but we are motivated, and we know what we want. That's a turn-on, and I heard it from a lot of guys my age (40s).

Keep up the great work, GG+SG!

Gay Guy said...

Welcome Supa Dupa Fresh! Please keep reading and posting comments.

Straight Guy said...

Kathryn, Supa,

Thank you. I agree that the use of the term is morphing, the "m" may now stand more for mature than for mom. But, Supa, does it still have the impact when it comes from guys in their 40's, or is it better when it comes from outside of your demographic? I guess the true sweet spot for a mature woman is to be BOTH a cougar and a MILF... then you can't lose.

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