Here's an update from the young man who recently wrote us for help figuring out who he is. Many readers reached out with supportive comments. Read the October 14 post.
His e-mail today:
"Just wanted to say thank you for the thoughts, they were very helpful!! I have come out of the closet--only to a couple of people, two people from work--one of whom is gay--my cousin, and mom. It was hard to do, especially to my mom. She says that she will always love me but she doesn't get it. She thinks it is a choice. She told me that I will probably end up lonely and lose a lot of my family."There's a small victory in there: Mom says she'll always love him. I say that she needs to start learning about the science of sexual orientation and open her mind and eyes to the rich lives that gay people can live.
I so wish that they, especially the young guy, could have come with me to the party I attended last weekend. Two of my closest friends legally wed a few months ago. They've been married in everything but legal document for two decades anyway. They have a son, who's about 9.
My friends hosted a lovely, low-key reception attended by lots of family and friends. What a great afternoon! We were all so happy to be there. Proof positive that being gay is not the path to ending up lonely and without a family.
I talked a long time with one guy's mom. She's full of joy about their life together and happiness -- and of course about that grandchild. Now she's on a mission to fix me up. Who knows . . .