Reader Survey: If I Only Had a Voice

Gay Guy,

I love music, but am not much of a singer. Never have been. That's not to say I don't let go every once in while when I'm alone in my car. Or even better, if I can torture my kids with a Johnny Cash number.

I was talking with a friend yesterday and we wondered: If we COULD sing, who do we wish we could sound like? The list was not the same as my list of favorite artists, but there were a few overlaps.

I thought about some great soul singers, but as a middle-aged white guy, I had to be realistic about what I could pull off. So Otis, Marvin, and Ray were out for me. I wanted to find something easygoing and effortless, and yes, masculine. Elvis? Sinatra? McCartney? Too obvious. Tom Jones? Steve Perry? To much bluster.

When I narrowed my list, my friend was dumbfounded by my "tacky" choice. Don't worry. I promise to reveal it later in the comments.

So readers, I hand it over to you. Let us know. If you could get a vocal cord (and musicality) transplant, whose would you chose?

Lurkers, we know you're out there. Take a moment to click the "anonymous" option and leave a comment, too.

If you need help, here's a link to Rolling Stone's list of greatest singers. And here's wikipedia's list of top sellers (where Ace of Base somehow bests Willie Nelson and yet the Earth keeps turning). But please don't limit yourself by these lists or any sense of shame.

--Straight Guy

22 comments:

J9 said...

Janis Joplin, but without the overdosing. Maybe Mahalia Jackson, or Koko Taylor.

Anonymous said...

Robin Thicke

Straight in Upstate said...

Al Green - I would pay to listen to that man sing the phone book.

JPro said...

Fiona Apple. Don't love her songs, but I love, love, love that voice. Little girl, big voice.

Straight Shooter said...

The Voice.

Oddyoddyo13 said...

You sing to your kids?! ARE YOU CRAZY? Eddie does that too....you fathers have a twisted sense of humor, let me tell you. LoL

Katy Perry, because she doesn't carry HIGH notes, but she can carry notes.

Anonymous said...

Karen Carpenter, simple and clear.

Anonymous said...

Whitney Houston! because every gay white guy has a black diva inside him .. and also because she is Fab and Powerful.

Michael said...

What a great idea for a poll. Moi? Brad Roberts from Crash Test Dummies. Tenors are nice, but baritones rock.

Mrs. Straight Guy said...

KD Lang

j.m. neeb said...

Eddie Vedder. (Yes, I was a flannel-wearing, grunge-listening teen in the 90's. How did you guess?)

Even though his voice is rather polarizing, I did consider Geddy Lee. (But then I thought better of it, even though I love Rush... the band, not the talking head.)

Gay Guy said...

Ironically, while I am very attracted to (or underwhelmed by) men's speaking voices--not just romantically, this includes NPR--I don't listen to very many male singers.

I'm going to go with James Taylor. Ah, the sweet sound of Sweet Baby James.

Of course, the greatest singer of all time is Sarah Vaughn, but that would require more than a vocal cord transplant for me.

BosGuy said...

The moves of Michael Jackson, the voice of Michael Buble and the charm of Placido Domingo... I think that sums it up nicely for my wish list.

Anonymous said...

Norm Lewis.

Dorn said...

Fun one. If I was a woman, Annie Lennox would be my choice. Utterly impressed ever time.

I think it would be Bing Crosby. I associate his voice with Christmas and that would be a fantastic feeling.

Anonymous said...

Like the JT idea but the New Yorker in me leans toward Billy Joel. I'd love to be comfortable with the piano like that.

Straight Guy said...

Readers, I love this list! From Karen Carpenter, to Al Green, to Eddie Vedder. Great choices. I'm sure they suit each of you to a T.

OK. Here's mine. Huey Lewis.

Tacky? My friend thought so. But it came down to a rough but casual sound that I thought suited me. Plus I thought that sound would let me sing soul, pop, rock, doo-wop, or even crooner classics. Physicality-wise, it kind of suits me, too.

But give me one night as Prince, too, just to work out a few issues.

Goodness, I'm a walking-talking 80s VH1 special.

Tinkerschnitzel said...

June Carter, hands down. That woman had a voice!

kathryn said...

I'd love to have a voice like anyone on Broadway. That's a girl...did I mention that?

Or the two main singing gals from GLEE. That would do me just fine.

Gay Guy said...

Huey Lewis? Are you for real?

Straight Guy said...

I didn't say it was my favorite artist, but one that I thought would suit me. I told you it was tacky, but that's what I came up with on the spot. I can't pull off Robert Plant. Maybe I'd take James Taylor if you hadn't already stolen that thunder.

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