Straight Guy Gift Guide: Bacon Bouquet


Nothing says "I love you" like hand-crafted pork products. I haven't seen them for sale, but FastCompany published a how-to on their website. They call it a "broquet."

In the story, the creator admits that she was a vegan until bacon became her "gateway meat." Later, she came up with the bouquet concept as a way to seduce her hunky neighbor. It worked. For a while at least.

Side Note: I think Gay Guy knows that I briefly worked for a small-town slaughterhouse when I was in high school. One of my jobs was to take samples and a hotplate to local supermarkets to try and drum up business. I was paralyzed with stage-fright about making the pre-scripted pitch. I shouldn't have been. Nothing breaks the ice like hot fried pork. I was the life of the party. The only problem was the demographics. Very few teenage girls buy breakfast meats.

--Straight Guy

10 comments:

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Pretty bouquet, though the concept is a little....strange.

(I gave you a tag on my blog!)

WannabeVirginia W. said...

That would be even yummier if it was scallops wrapped in bacon.

Spot said...

So is it safe to eat those or wil I get some sort of horrible food borne sickness??

♥Spot

Straight in Upstate said...

Thanks, SG, I now have a foolproof way to my wife's heart. It's always been lottery tickets and a bottle of wine, but there's no telling what she might do for a vase of bacon. Woo-hoo!

Awesome story about the slaughterhouse - i dig unusual high school jobs. I never worked at McDonald's but I was a janitor at a nursing home. More depressing than Mickey D's but I didn't have to wear a paper hat in public.

Rick said...

Love it...thanks for stopping by.

kathryn said...

But, had you been more popular with the bacon-set in those earlier days, you never would have met Mrs. SG...so it was all meant to be.

It sounds like that bouquet attracted the guy but didn't wind up holding him for long...

Gay Guy said...

SG,

Come on.I mean, really? Is there a straight guy out there who really wants a bacon bouquet?

BosGuy said...

The perfect gift to bring over for a seder.

Gay Guy said...

Bad, BosGuy. Bad, bad.

viagra online said...

I tis a very original gift indeed, but it seems a little odd to gave to someone some pork meat.

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