Too Much Soy Makes a Gay Boy

Straight Guy,

I have a good feeling that writing this post will be a blast for me.

Read this article about soy causing homosexuality. Read on, it'll all start to make a certain kind of sense. It's a three-year-old post found on WND.com, which is World Net Daily, but should be Wackadoo Net Daily.

Here's the synopsis: The author, Jim Rutz, makes the claim that increased consumption of soybean products is "feminizing." With soy you're getting substantial quantities of the female hormone estrogen, which, according to the author, is beating the crap out of guys' testosterone. Babies are most at risk, but be warned, my fellow grown men, tofu should take the blame for "suppressing your masculinity and stimulating your 'female side,' physically and mentally."

Thank you, Mr. Rutz, but somehow, I suspect the science could use a little tightening; I doubt it's up to NIH standards. I would follow a soy=Japan, Japan=kimono, kimono=drama queen's version of sweat pants argument, but that's as far as my rational mind will take me.

There's even worse news: Mr. Science also tells us that soy "decreases the size of the penis." Oh my, GG does acknowledge that this does warrant further study.

Repeat: I am NOT making this up.

Readers, I've never worked up much of a taste for soy milk, but SG looks at it with an expression usually reserved for a dirty diaper. Ages ago, SG and I were eating lunch in the office kitchen, where colleague found her soy milk had gone missing from the frig. "Who drank my soy milk?" she demanded. SG gave her a slow burn, the memory of which still makes me giggle.

The good news is that soy sauce is fine. No word yet on those packets of duck sauce.

--Gay Guy

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you for real?

Kiwi said...

You know, about six months after switching to vegetarianism, I did figure a few things out about myself :P

but honestly, that's whack.

Straight Guy said...

You can't argue with science and you can't argue with complete nonsense. Put them both together and you get... comedy.

Pass me the whole milk and oversized condoms, please.

Straight in Upstate said...

Let's be clear about the Constitution. The First Amendment says Congress shall not pass any law that infringes upon a person's free speech. Period. It doesn't guarantee another person won't infringe upon your right. It doesn't guarantee you the right to be an idiot without consequence. It doesn't guarantee you the right to publish something that looks factual with absolutely no documentation.

For all those who weren't clear on those points, hope you've enjoyed the ride. I like to think it won't last forever, and maybe y'all would someday actually be held accountable to, like, a fourth-grade education.

PS - my favorite part - World Net Daily was originally headquartered in a town called Cave Junction.

Gingerella said...

And what about people thousands of years ago who were born gay and never had one iota of soy in any of their food? What a load of bunk.

Jen said...

Well this soy thing explains that Ted Haggard guy. His wife must have switched to soy for a few years.

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