The Basketball Diatribes

Readers,

Gay Guy and I went to a college basketball game over the weekend. We root for the same team (yes, yes, yes we do!) and have lucked into some nice seats over the years.

We were talking about the blog with one of our readers during the game (not a perk we can share very often) and he suggested that I put up a post about my numerous complaints. OK. But I really did have a good time. Just a few things I can't overlook...

(1) Men's basketball shorts are now officially ridiculous. They've gotten long (well below the knee!), droopy, and loose. Let me just say it: they wear like a skirt. Or is "culottes" the right word? Maybe I'm a crank, but how is that cool, exactly? And don't bore me with talk of "street cred." It's obviously a case of choosing form over function. True athletes care more about the game than about how they look when they play. I'm not advocating a return to the short-shorts of Dr. J and Larry Bird, but the current model will look just as silly with 20 years of perspective. But hey, if anyone can explain to me how the game is better played with the extra weight, drag, and distraction of the long shorts, then I'm all ears.

(2) The male cheerleaders are hopeless. Well, the ones we saw, anyway. I admit it's a tough spot... that they look like fools if they care too much and like idiots if they lazily phone it in. Look, if you only signed up for the squad to be around girls, that's not a bad decision. But when the lights go down and it's time to dance, you better effing dance your straight-boy heart out, or stay on the sidelines. Likewise, if you're there to put on a tumble and dance show, and could care less about boosting the girls up by their heinies, then you better seem concerned about the score, and appear to understand the game that makes this whole scenario possible. Just saying.

--Straight Guy

11 comments:

Oddyoddyo13 said...

I totally agree. The long shorts? Hideous. And the male cheerleaders? Hard to tell if they really care about the game sometimes.

Michael Rivers said...

I do like longer shorts on guys, but they are getting too long. Almost silly looking. Course, I also think the SHORT shorts of yester-year look silly too. :-)

Isabella said...

I was at a local youth basketball game this past weekend... and the I saw the same thing! About half of the pre-teens in long BB shorts below the knee. I noticed it right away and thought the same thing you do. Culottes.

Straight in Upstate said...

No one's brought up the magic word yet:...skorts! The players already look like idiots, go all the way and bring back the skort!

Kathryn said...

So...it seems to me that someone's gotta buckle down and do some trending research. Are the skorts (a-la Straight in Upstate...Hey guy!) more about fashion than comfort? I'd have to see an evolution of attire over the decades.

As far as the male cheerleaders go, I'm not even going there.

Tinkerschnitzel said...

Gotta love when street cred outranks being able to actually play the game without tripping over your shorts. Reminds me of the guys running around with the waist of their pants around their thighs. Makes me want to run up to them, pull their pants all the way down, push them over, and run. I think they deserve it for looking so rediculous.

Emma said...

Check out AFL (Australian Football League) shorts. They might be more your style. The game bores me witless, but the shorts...they're OK.

Kiwi said...

Story I heard, as a soccer player (a while back), was that the longer basketball shorts are, the shorter soccer shorts are... I wonder if they are even clothed anymore :S

Anonymous said...

Cool website, I had not come across gayguystraightguy.blogspot.com earlier in my searches!
Carry on the fantastic work!

Anonymous said...

Wow neat! This is a really great site! I am wondering if anyone else has come across something
like this in the past? Keep up the great work!

Anonymous said...

Its my elementary things to enter on this forum,merely wannat make some friends here.if its not allowed to advise on this enter,amuse delete this thread.Nice to find you!

---------------------------------------------------------------
[url=http://www.sexybags.info/rssrock.html]My designer handabgs[/url]

Gay Guy / Straight Guy Archive