Gay Guy is Back Online!

Straight Guy:

After a silly amount of downtime, Gay Guy is back online. It turns out that my cable provider and my computer share the blame, and that their mutual finger-pointing may have been justified: There was a minor adjustment required of my cable modem and I needed a new wireless router. Cable paid a 5-minute-long visit to me and I paid two visits to the computer store (once because I didn't have my stuff together). As an aside, the young 'un at the Mac genius desk was sooo adorable. And so young. And so clever.

I managed to persevere through to resolve both issues without you, SG. I hope that's okay. Given my techno lack of interest, pushing through on my own is something of a challenge and thus something of an accomplishment. I rely too much on you for technical assistance. Mostly, I succeed at being quite independent in my life, but technology is a place where I want someone, specifically you, to take care of me, to just do it for me. I don't think it's a gay guy/straight guy stereotype, I think it's just the place where I don't have enough brain space.

Do straight men have places they just want to be taken care of? I don't mean wanting their girlfriend/wife to be their mommy, too, like my dad, who needs his three meals and ironed clothes taken care of. I mean in a more internal way. Like me just wanting to subcontract technology decisions to you.

Back to technology: As a general rule, I think that gay men are early adopters when it comes to technology. And a lot of other things, too. Lots of I-phones and ridiculously Star Trek-like phone doodles in their ears at all times. Do we just have more time to notice and think about what's new?

A true story: Several years ago, a gay acquaintance ripped me a new one for lolling about town without my cell and then without a Blackberry. Like I should always be available -- for social planning. "Why, you might not be able to be part of multiple rounds of phone calls required to choose what movie to go to. You might even miss out on the movie altogether," he said. Like part of my responsibilities as a gay man to be available. BTW, if it takes more than two calls to choose a restaurant or movie, I drop out: Somebody make a choice and I'll go along, or I'll happily resign for the evening and see you another time. Life, at least mine, cannot be so decision-laden.

Back to that conversation, which obviously made a huge impression on me: I still remember his final and trump reason for my needing a cell phone on me at all times: "What if I was going to Spain for a long trip, or even moving there, and a guy I was interested in called at the last minute to tell me that he was interested in me, too. What if I moved away without knowing that?" It's a paraphrase, but a pretty accurate one. I kid you not.

My answer was that it would be better for me to not know and thus not spend time obsessing and revisiting the topic. Learning at the final moment would make me resent the guy for not coughing up his feelings faster when I could act upon them. Worse it would keep me/slow me down from enjoying senors galore in Espana. And, to state the obvious, that I was not moving to Spain.

I reject the common theory among advertisers that gays have more disposable income and thus more inclination to consume. I know it's true, but I think it just puts us in the silly flit, presentation obsessed, drawn to the bright shiny object camp. That we just indulge every whim. I like to be taken more seriously than that. I like to, say, look nice and travel well, but being comfortable and wearing something that looks good on me is more important than being captive to, say, vertical stripes.

--Gay Guy