Straight vs. Gay: Getting Ready to Go Out

Fellow blogger John wants to know...

Ok, here's a question: how long does it take each of you guys to get ready to go out somewhere?

The sad truth: dirty jeans and a ball cap can have me on the street in a moment's notice. And no, we don't really think we're fooling anyone with this routine.

Straight guys can also make a quick getaway if our clothes have been dry cleaned. Garanimals for grown-ups. Mix and match, coordinate belt and shoes. Shower, shave, and in my best suit in 15 minutes.

It's the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble. Too many choices. But, I do iron all of my clothes myself. It takes me a long time, but I do a good job. A nice polo sweater is a great friend to the straight guy, slightly fancy without all the fuss. Great choice, unless you have a moob situation. (Look it up.)

GAY GUY Responds:

To work: One hour from feet hitting the floor to feet hitting the sidewalk. 30 minutes more if the news is really juicy. That covers news, making the bed, breakfast, shower, shave, dress, hunt for keys and cell phone.

Go out to see friends, probably 30 minutes.

Most of the time is spent doing things that I suddenly find urgent, such as checking my bank balance, while I have shaving cream on my face.
Readers: How long does it take you to get ready? Click "comments" below.


Gay Guy said...

Just to clarify: When I said of my morning routine "30 minutes more if the news is really juicy," I meant in the newspaper or on NPR. I was not referring to any news going on in my bedroom.

Kathryn said...

It depends on what my plans are when I get there...on a workday, it takes me about as long as it takes GG...only the shaving creme goes on a different part of the anatomy. I probably take longer to dress when going out at night...but then you have to factor in who I'm going to see...what to wear? up, or down? Smoky eye, or no? Cleavage, or no? The possibilities are endless...

Straight in Upstate said...

Get myself ready or....get my 5 year old ready, find my stuff, his stuff, my wife's stuff, answer the same frickin' question 500 times (from either one of them, depends on the day), get him in the car, and almost get hit as I back out of the driveway? The latter takes about an hour & 20 minutes - i could do it faster, but I know it's going to suck so I take my time and check the Internet, play the banjo, etc.

Anonymous said...

Sipsie, couldn't send this via email from home, but I must have a gay/straight commentary on this:

What would one wear underneath? Gay guy excited or disgusted? Straight guy interested or turned-on?

Who's the frst to sign up?

Gay Guy said...

Thank you, Anonymous. SG and I all ready to get to the bottom of this. Stay tuned.

Anonymous said...

That photo of Jack Nicholson has NOT made my afternoon any prettier.

GG, I think you need a comma between "balance" and "while."

It takes me about 30 minutes to get ready in the morning. A full 5 of those is about finding my shoes.

Gay Guy said...

Thanks for the editorial expertise, knitlikeyoumeanit. Your eyes are as sharp as your knitting needles.

Anonymous said...

I just spend my days proof-reading your blog. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it. And Nicholson's clearly otherwise occupied.

Anonymous said...

Depends what I'm doing. If I'm going to work, I get out of bed, turn the shower on, whilst that heats up I shave etc then in and out of the shower, find clothes/check e-mail whilst my hair dries then I can be dressed and out of the door in less than 30 mins from getting out of bed.

If I'm going out properly so I need to look really good, it'd probably take me 40 mins because I'd spend time to do my hair (which is jaw-length) by either straightening it or at least making the curls look tidy.

If I'm just going to the supermarket on a Saturday morning? I get out of bed and put clothes on and I'm out of the door in less than 5 minutes.


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