Dog Days of Summer: Gay Guy Bites off More Than He Can Chew?

Straight Guy,

I had an embarrassing incident at the gym last evening, an incident that took me right back to the sixth grade. No, not
that embarrassing moment -- this was long before I hit the shower.

I got scared and skulked around the gym hiding from this guy to avoid getting his fist in my face. If that doesn't send ya back to middle school, nothing will.

The back story: A few weeks ago I went up the street to lunch a little after noon. I passed the fancy gym next door where everyone is beautiful (not the back-to-basics gym that I belong to), where a dog was tied up on the terrace outside the gym, barking his heart out. An hour or so later, I passed by on my way back from lunch; same dog, same constant barking. An hour or so after that, I stepped out again to get some stamps or something. Dog. Barking. Add that it's July so it's hot.

I'm not really one to get into other people's business, so don't count on me to spearhead an intervention. Nor am I the Patron Saint of Puppies. But I told myself that if the dog was still there on my way back from the post office, I'd have to do something.

The short story is that I screwed up my courage, asked the fancy man at the fancy desk at the fancy gym if he knew who the dog belonged to. After some ridiculous verbal shell game at the front desk, dog owner appeared, mad as hell at me. Steam coming out of his ears. The synopsis of the point-counter point of our terse, tense, short conversation was that I need to learn how to mind my own business and that he needs to learn how to take care of an animal. He said that the dog had only been out there for an hour, I said I begged to differ and promised to provide my lunch mate to prove it.

I said my peace and left. He shouted at my departing figure that if I did anything about the dog, like call the SPCA, he'd "sue me."

To which I responded, "Bring it on."

The point of the story is not just that some people don't know how to take care of a dog, but that I felt very manly man in a way that I don't often feel. I felt that I had participated in a cave man-like primal altercation. It felt scary but thrilling at the same time. For once, I was the gay guy asking for trouble.

I figured that I'd probably never see the dude again. But, who do I see out of the corner of my eye when I entered my regular gym but Dog Man. I can't tell if he sees me, but I figure there's a 50-50 chance that his peripheral vision is as good as mine. I piled up some free weights in a corner, made myself immobile, tried to work out, and generally speaking, tried to be invisible. And felt miserable.

Don't try to use this expression, I felt like a sissy. A grown man skulking around to avoid getting what at worst would be a verbal rematch. Finally I couldn't take anymore, and decided to walk by him. Not to have a conversation or a confrontation, but to let him know I saw him and that I knew that he was there. That would be good enough.

We passed in the hallway. He gave me a weird smile, and I nodded my head. That was all.

One detail: He had an odd looking pink scratch from his eye down his cheek. My petty self hopes his dog sharpened his doggy digits there.

--Gay Guy


Straight Guy said...

Of course this guy is a class A jerk, he has membership at two different gyms. Sure sign of a narcissist. When does he even have time to walk that dog?

But free weights, GG? I'm impressed.

Kathryn said...

GG! I am SO IMPRESSED! You faced the scary, possibly-insane, dog-owning idiot and you ripped him a new one! I wish I'd been there....I wud've been the gal standing beside you (okay, so maybe a little bit behind you...just a little) with my fists clenched and my jaw set, trying desperately to remember that "punch 'em in the throat, combined with kick in the nuts" move in case you needed some backup.
Which, of course, you did not. I'm glad you reminded him that he was responsible for a living thing (he'd obviously forgotten this small fact) and that you put yourself out there at the gym. I do believe that "weird smile" was a grudging admission of is guilt...and I'll bet some chick jumped him and sliced his cheek w/her 3" long fingernail 'cause she was just as pissed as you were!

another gay gay said...


Question: Can I make an asuumption that you are making an assumption that the dick wad is straight?

Kathryn said...

(TEST) Why would this matter? Just curious....

Gay Guy said...


Yes, while I lack any real information, my assumption is the the guy is straight. And cocky. And in need of anger management classes.

edder said...

Well done. Well done, indeed. Some people just should not have pets.

Curious what breed this DB has...Cujo? Yappy? Probably belongs to his girlfriend.

Love you blog, btw. Am now a devout Follower. I have the robe and everything.

Another gay guy said...

I wonder if your interaction with this guy and then the way you feel about it is influenced by or different because he's straight.

Gay Guy said...

FYI: The guy was at the gym the other night. I think it lessens the thrill/anxiety of seeing him. Didn't get close enough to get an update on the facial scratch.

Gay Guy said...


Welcome top GG/SG. Keep reading and keep commenting.

Anonymous said...

You are my hero GG!

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