Flirting With Disaster?

Readers,

A reader sent this e-mail a few days ago in response to the April 4 discussion about gay men hitting on straight men.

Hello Guys!

Thanks for opening this discussion.

I am a gay may who flirts openly [with] the straight men in my life. It is interesting that they don't reject my flirtations.

My thinking is that straight men don't get this kind of attention & it feels really nice to be on the receiving end of desirability. For the most part it never gets past the flirtation stage. However, there have been a couple of occasions when it did. Both times it was w/ guys that I've been flirting w/ for months.

As is always the case, I extend an open invitation to these breeders to sexually service them at any point in time that they may feel the need. The one caveat is that it be kept between us (no wives/girlfriends must know) & that it not change a thing between us outside of the physical intimacy experience.

Although I know that 2 hardly makes for a case study... it is the case that the 2 caveats held & all's well w/ us.

All I can say is that our correspondent has fewer inhibitions and/or more adventurous friends than I. Or that his friends are working out some issues. No judgment, only an observation.

I've not come even remotely close to the kinds of experiences our reader can pull off. A few years after college, I muttered "Fuck me" to a guy who had set me hundreds of points in a card game. He then expressed way too much interest in whether I actually wanted it. Masking under feigned humor, but it was clear to my gaydar that I'd scratched a nerve. I think the divorce that he was going through had layers of causes. In retrospect, I think I was stirring the pot when I had my excited utterance.

And, I did end up playing some surprisingly extended footsie with a straight friend of a friend once or twice. We ended up sharing a king size bed in a beach house for a weekend, but any chance of follow through switched off along with the bedside lamps. As a side note, that guy cleaned a bathroom like a white tornado. I bowed before his bleach-blotched greatness.

Both those incidents took place right after college. That was a while ago. I can't imagine any of the straight guys I know now following through with any flirtation I might toss their way. That would be because they are straight. Could I flirt a bit with them? Maybe a bit. Not in a seductive way, but in an appreciative way, if that makes a difference. But nothing beyond appreciation. It would make them really uncomfortable. Me, too. And I couldn't do it due to their wives/girlfriends.

I know that I've slept with some married guys -- the law of averages tell me so. Go online, say to Craigslist, and you will find a surprising number of married men in town and away from their wives who want to experiment or follow up on desires they have packed away in their regular lives. When I read their posts, I feel sad for them and especially for the wives back home. I think this makes me very old fashioned.

I'm really interested that our reader's been able to pull off a sexual encounter with two straight friends that didn't change anything between them. I can't pull that off, even with a gay bud.

Straight Guy? Readers? Any comments?

--Gay Guy