"Touch My Junk!:" Gay Guy/Straight Guy Rallying Call

Straight Guy,

Are you as wiped out as I am from our week-long work jaunt to San Francisco? I can barely keep my eyes open today. 

I had even more fun with you than usual. The events may be never-ending with sharp highs and lows, but we work with a congenial group of colleagues and their camaraderie makes it go down easier. 

A story: As we cabbed to our Nob Hill hotel on day one, I glanced out the window to see if the Nob Hill Theatre was still there -- and it is. 

How to describe the "Knob" Hill Theatre, as we called it? Let's go to an expert source. The City Search site calls the Nob Hill a "male strip joint and gay pornography cinema featuring exotic stage and shower shows, erotic films and private viewing booths."  A similar guide calls it the "premium place for porn and strippers strutting their stuff live and in-person." That about covers it.

The marquee says it all: "Touch Our Junk."

This became the expression of the week: "Touch our junk," "Touch your junk," "Touch my junk." Every time I disappeared to my room to catch up on e-mail or close my eyes for a few minutes, people acted like I had gone to the Nob Hill. I deflected with my best bemused, enigmatic smile. I think they were genuinely surprised that the theatre existed.

SG, sorry that we ran out of time before I could get you drunk and take you by for "Rookie Night." I know you would have been a hit. . . . and come home with a wad of singles. The brief visit by Mrs. Straight Guy tamped down my plan.

  --Gay Guy


Straight Shooter said...

I think SG could have easily earned a wad of $10's and $20's not just singles. He's tall, has large hands, large feet...you know what they say...

Long Live The Tonga!

straight in upstate said...

Two phrases I was okay without knowing: "touch our junk", and "shower shows". GG, was the assumption that a gay man in SF wouldn't need a nap or check his email, he'd just be watching live porn shows? Or was it less mean than that?

Dorn said...

I just had a Beevis and Butthead overload moment reading your post. Glad you guys had fun on your work trip.

Oddyoddyo13 said...

HA! I bet SG would've LOVED waking up to realize where he's been the previous night. Does the description of Knob Hill surprise? Not really.

Greg said...

Good to know SC survived with his "junk" intact.

Greg said...

I mean, SG. See what happens when you travel to Vegas? My mind is slowly de-numbing.

kathryn said...

This co-worker ribbing is such a GUY thang...we women are way too civilized to stoop to that level. We do our snickering behind your backs, whilst drinking a nice Cab.

I'm glad you two have each other...how nice to share the tediousness of a business trip with a good friend. Glad you're back home safe. I'll think of you every time I hear someone mention their trunk. Thanks for that.

Gay Guy said...


I don't think that my friends think that a porn/stripping is gay man's fall back activity. They just endlessly tease me, which I pretty much invite.

BTW, the charm of "shower show" is that all the evidence goes down the drain.

Straight Guy said...

I just keep on assuming, that "Touch Our Junk" is a withering and dismissive put down, on par with Flo's (from the Alice sitcom) "Kiss my Grits!"

And yes the weekend veered into the zone of TMI once or twice and I might feel that the attention to GG was unfair if he hadn't been bringing it up half the time. To my ears, it never got mean.

I'll also let our readers know that GG shelled out exactly $20 for us to ride the trolley (that's not a metaphor for anything, BTW) for only a quarter mile and get berated by the conductor for the privilege. Thanks, GG. Good times.

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