The Long, Sad, Slow Emasculation of Ted Forth

Gay Guy,

I shouldn't care.

But like many liberals who listen to Rush Limbaugh, I, too, punish myself on a daily basis by reading the Sally Forth comic strip. It angers me daily. But I can't look away.

The strip chronicles the life of Sally Forth, her husband Ted, and their daughter, Hillary. The male authors (yes it takes two) present a bleak worldview where sarcasm is the primary mode of conversation. You'll know it's sarcasm not because the wordplay is particularly sharp, but because the characters address each other through sideways glances and with raised eyebrows.

The authors do what they can with their limited -- to put it kindly -- illustration skills. Major peeve: though they still haven't managed to master the core skill of cartoon facial expression, they continue to devote massive amounts of attention to the drape of characters' shirts.

Ted is hopeless. He is constantly diminished by ALL of the relationships in his life. He gets no respect, and frankly, deserves none. Yes, I hate just about everything about this strip. But it's gotten to the point where I have to wonder about the agenda of the authors. What do these guys have against Ted and men in general? There is a long, proud history of "loser dads" in the comic strips. But Ted makes Dagwood Bumstead look like a Renaissance man. At least Dagwood has mad sandwich skills... and Blondie.

Many critics insinuate that Ted's overall wussiness indicates that he is gay, and that he just needs to come out already. I don't equate weakness with gayness, but I will say this:

Man up, Ted. Man up.

--Straight Guy

P.S. I am always careful when complaining that I don't automatically assume that "I could do better than that!" But in the case of the Sally Forth strip, I'm really tempted.


straight in upstate said...

Wow...we all have a hot button. The Beekman Boys set me off; for you, it's Sally Forth. I've never paid much attention to it - you are right about the draping! For me, it's just tired - oh, it's March, time to trot out the jokes about Sally biting the ears off her daughter's chocolate Easter bunny. Hysterical.

Molly Louise said...

I'm a Far Side kind of girl, truthfully, but I do enjoy a good witty comic with more than one frame, though they're kind of hard to find.

Who knows - Maybe you could do better. I'd give it a whirl.

straight in upstate said...

You made the Blogger gods angry by mocking the Forths. What I said was: they're not as much of a hot button topic for me, I just think they're tired (like 98% of comics in the paper). Oh it's March, Sally is going to bite the ears off Hillary's chocolate Easter bunny. One year they got wacky and started bunny jokes at Halloween.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I LOATHE Ted Forth.

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