You Complete Me, Bro.

Another anonymous question for Gay Guy and Straight Guy...
Should I be concerned if my husband is in a bromance with his 3 best friends from elementary school? One is particularly sensitive and needs extra attention from the other three and periodically they have conflicts about open and honest communication.

[Scroll down for recent posts on the "bromance" phenomenon.]

Look, having lifelong friends is something to celebrate. But I can tell from your brief description that catty behavior is part of their regular routine.

Guy friends should be pretty non-judgmental... If you don't hear from Dude A for a while, forgive him and assume he'll call when he gets out of prison. If you are hurt that Dude A called Dude B first with some big news, or troubled by the fact that Dude C was in your wedding party, but now you're only invited to his.... then you care too effing much. That's a relationship, and it's too much for work for most of the guys I know. We fail at other relationships all the time, why do we need to add more work and potential for failure?

I'm familiar with the current expression, "Bros before Hos." But this is both offensive and tragically wrong, too. Guys shouldn't have to care about ranking their friendships against their pursuit of women. Because their friends should wish them well in their pursuits, and welcome them back when they fail.

I don't know if you have cause for concern, Anonymous. Not enough details here. Your husband isn't the needy one, is he? Do these "conflicts" distract him from your relationship? Either way, there's not much you can do. A woman who tries to break up a bromance will only reinforce the perceived need for one.

--Straight Guy

God, I sound like a stereotypical straight man.... but an unrelenting quest for "open and honest communication" is pretty much related to ensuring a steady stream of sex. And, love, too, of course. Even in the gay world.

--Gay Guy

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks SG. GG, I'm ignoring your answer. Luckily, my husband's not the needy one. He is, however, codependent: there were 3 best men in my wedding.

Straight but Fabulous said...

Oh Lawwwrd. Anonymous - the three best men comment just gave away your anonymoty (how in the bloody hell do you spell that word???). Only one crazy boy I know would do that! ;)

We can hold this debate for poker night in a few weeks.

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