Gay Guy Embraces La Dolce Vita Head On

Straight Guy,

Right before Christmas, I finally overcame my financial fears and bought a plane ticket to Rome for a trip this spring. I have friends living in Rome for a short-term assignment, so now's the time. The ticket felt a bit steep, but you only live once.

Planning the trip came just in time for Santa's elves to do some Christmas shopping. My nieces gave me an Italian phrase book.

I flipped through the book just to see where my eye landed. And here's the first phrase I saw: "Fa male urinare," which is Italian for "It hurts to urinate." Wow, who knew that Gonorrhea and Chlamydia were Italian tourist destinations?

I hope not to use that phrase. A second flip through the Italian phrase book yielded better results: "La colazione e inclusa?"

"Is breakfast included?" Words to live by.

--Gay Guy


Brenda said...

And does it include prosciutto? Robbie will help you with these!

Straight in Upstate said...

Here's hoping you don't need to use the whole phrase book.

When Pigs Fly said...

Hope you have an amazing time. I love Italy and speaking what broken Italian I know.

Anonymous said...

From the book: Negotiating with Italian Prostitutes. And yes, there are a couple of references to prosciutto.

Dorn said...

Why anonymous? That comment was funny! Have fun in Rome. My wife loved it. She said it'd be perfect if there just weren't so many Italians.

BosGuy said...

Enjoy GG - I've been to Rome a few times and it never ceases to amaze me. I hope you love it as much as I do.


Gay Guy said...


Thanks for all the well wishes. I don't leave on my trip until May, so I have lots of time for your travel suggestions. And time to learn more dirty Italian phrases.

Nance said...

I've noticed that language phrase books all seem to have been written by disappointed, anxious people:

"I have misplaced my wallet."

"It is an emergency. Can you direct me to the American Embassy?"

"My wife died last year."

"Please accept my apology."

What's really needed are more phrases like:

"Is there a bakery nearby?"

"Please direct me to the party."

Waiter, more wine, please."

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Sure, you start out asking about breakfast, but I think we all know where that ends.

Mimicking un-mimickable things to an Italian doctor.

Climb2Nowhere said...

Awesome that you bought the ticket. You only live once. Have an amazing time, and I'd try to learn a few more phrases. LOL!

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