Product Watch: Straight Guy Eats Luna Bars, Lives to Tell the Tale

Gay Guy,

It was bound to happen. As you know, Mrs. Straight Guy is an athlete. Marathons, triathlons, distance swimming, etc.

I share none of these interests. But I am often looking for a snack, and am known to be less than picky, so eventually I tore into her stash of "Caramel Nut Brownie" bars. That was a few years -- and many Luna Bars -- ago.

Why are Luna Bars for women? I don't really know. It says so on the wrapper. And there are silhouettes of ballet dancers with pony tails. Some of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. It contains folic acid, which is good for women who want to conceive, but also healthy for everyone else in the world, too.

Sorry, Ladies. Not scary enough to keep a hungry dude in check. Give me a Blueberry Bliss and a Lemon Zest, too.

I checked the official website just now: "There is nothing in a LUNA bar that is not good for men. However, LUNA bars are specifically formulated to provide women with the nutrients that are often harder for them to get."

Apparently, there's a persistent urban myth that too many Luna Bars will cause a man to grow breasts. [link] Whatever, suckers.

Did I mention? Caramel. Nut. Brownie. In my kitchen. Case closed.

And if I have a backache (non-exercise-related, of course)... Toss me two Pamprin. We'll see how that goes, too.

--Straight Guy

5 comments:

Straight in Upstate said...

Luna's breast-growing denial's not entirely accurate. Those things are packed with protein, carbs, and calories - if you're not climbing the Himalayas or busting a move in the Ironman and eat enough of them, you probably will sprout a nice set of man-boobs.

M@rvin said...

When I told him I ate a lot of tofu, my ex told me I was going to develop breasts too.

Anonymous said...

Another case of "Strong enough for a man but made for a woman..."

marketing BS. You can probably find the same thing with a different wrapper.

Ben said...

Usually the women's bars have iron in them, which women need and men get plenty of and need to avoid getting too much of.

Anonymous said...

Hey, it's time us straight Luna guys came out of the closet. I developed a taste for them years ago, buy them by the case. haven't grown breasts yet, lol. I have a girlfriend who teases me about it but whenever she is hungry and needs a snack she swallows her pride and hits me up for one. Sure they have a little more calcium and junk but it's more marketing BS. I like em' because they taste great!

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