Things Straight Guy Hates Immediately: Voice Prints
I enjoy talking to you. You're smart and you say funny things.
Please don't be insulted when I tell you that you have never said anything smart or funny enough for me to want to immortalize those words. For eternity. On canvas. In my living room.
If it helps, I don't think I've said anything that makes the cut either.
Readers, the folks at VoicePrints (slogan: Your Voice Is Your Art) have come up with a business model where you forward an audio file of your voice and they create a waveform representation of those words. Perfect to display in your home or office, or, if you suffer from a more extreme self-importance disorder, to give as a gift.
It's possible to get ripped off at rates ranging from $59 to $459. But you do get to pick the colors.
Here's the kicker: These sound wave images are not captioned, so you'll have to explain this exercise in ego gratification to every single visitor who makes the mistake of asking. Please let them know how important it is that your words be preserved for future generations.
Reception on the web has generally been positive, along the lines of "novel idea," and "strong sentimental value." Hometone went so far as to say the final product "gives your home a unique classy touch." InStash says "These paintings give your words the credit they deserve." Barf.
Am I the only one who sees how tacky and self-absorbed this is?
I don't care if it's your valedictorian speech, marriage proposal, your baby's first words, or your dying mother's last... don't fall for this.
I'm not completely unsentimental. Please save and cherish your memories. Save that sound file, and back it up. It's priceless. But it's not art.
Possible exception: Quotes from Young Frankenstein.
Gay Guy / Straight Guy Archive
- ► 2012 (32)
- Gay Guy Sinks Into Sports Stereotype? Go Figure.
- Sports Watch: Don't Lutz, Don't Tell
- Product Watch: Oh No, They Didn't... Oh Yes, They ...
- Product Watch: Straight Guy Eats Luna Bars, Lives ...
- Product Watch: Fabulous, But Not Fat Free
- Period Drama. Drama. Period.
- Gift to Gay Guy... Law and Order: UK
- Let's Get Physical. The Pre-K Version
- Things Straight Guy Hates Immediately: Voice Print...
- Gay Guy Embraces La Dolce Vita Head On
- ▼ January (10)
- ► 2010 (195)
- ► 2009 (267)
- ► 2008 (148)