Straight Guy Hall of Shame: Christian Pick-Up Techniques


"You are adorable. I wanna meet you. What's your name?"

Believe it or not, this is a proposed "opener" to help Christian men seduce their future wives. Suggested timing? Use this when you are "hanging out in a church environment."

I really don't even know what that means. In line for communion? During choir practice? In the soup kitchen?

Anyway, Pure Attraction is "The Art of Christian Social Dynamics." You can buy the book or pay to attend self-help seminars. "Do you feel like you have been praying about finding the Christian woman of your dreams but feel like you could do more to create that reality?" Then by all means, let me introduce you to Greg D., who has created an alternate reality where his charms are undeniable, and the women are all queued up.

Oops. I stand corrected. Here's a testimonial: "PURE ATTRACTION IS NOT A SELF HELP CLASS! This is a re-programming of the way that you live your life." Yowza. Getting re-programmed is a positive thing now? More scariness here, where Google has cached the site.

Yes, his web site has recently disappeared, perhaps because these videos threatened to go viral in all the wrong ways. This kind of ultra-self-conscious approach will always seem skeevy, whether you are God-fearing or not. So, the feedback was not good. ("creepy," "scary," "prepubescent," "knee him in the groin," etc...)

I get that there are lonely and desperate people out there who need help with social skills if they want to achieve their goals in life. I stand by some advice that I've given before -- and that you probably won't get from a Christian dating guru: If you want to meet women, look to your gay friends. They probably have connections (and social skills) and might be able to hook you up. Hey, that's a stereotype. But what would dating advice be without stereotypes?

Maybe this is a joke I just don't get. Maybe Greg D. is trying to help. I don't know. I hate to condemn the guy. But I have to condemn the method. The vibe is all wrong. Why does he say "be yourself" and "be honest" while giving the impression that only calculating manipulators can win at this game? Maybe this is an example of "Those who can't, teach."

Let me know what you think, readers. Especially if you've ever been picked up in a "church environment."

--Straight G.


Straight in Upstate said...

I didn't look at the video, but let me opine anyway: Any dating advice is cheesy at best and usually creepy. Any initiation of hopeful romance, of any configuration, is awkward and painful - and those are the success stories. I don't know that Greg D. or Christians are in for more abuse that other dating I say, I didn't watch.

Best dating book ever: 'They Call Me Naughty Lola': Personal Ads from the London Review of Books. Shared premise of submitters: looking for love is painful and awkward, so let's really run with it.

Climb2Nowhere said...

The video is hilarious. Where do you find this stuff? Asking a girl if she's in a gang and then thinking that's a funny joke is scary and then telling guys that this is the way to start talking to someone is dumb. All gay guys know a ton of straight girls. I agree with you that it's the best way to meet an awesome, hot girl. My best friend is gay. LOL!

Anonymous said...

I get a definite knee-to-nuts impulse from this guy.

The Expatresse said...

He is so not getting any. Not with those lines.

Plus, I don't want to date my big brother. Ick.

BosGuy said...

Ugh... it is painfully awkward to watch yet I couldn't help myself.

Why hasn't SNL created a skit like this? They could invite Palin back as a guest and allow her to be "seduced" by Will Farrell as he reprises his role with Ana Gasteyer as the church singers. M

Anonymous said...

Uhhh. That guy used the direct approach on me at the all boys summer camp, but it was way more direct! Has he been re-programmed or something???

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