Gay Guy's Study Proves that Good Driving Skills Bridge Genetic and Cultural Divide

Straight Guy,

Interesting research, but I can’t tell you how hard it is to get serious when anything having to do with gay men is in the same sentence as both ‘Queen’ and ‘Mary.’ I’m sure there was a London Telegraph copy editor chuckling as that issue went live. (If you don’t know why this is funny, e-mail me for a tutorial.)

I polled some friends to see what they thought of the study. The results: All my friends are good drivers. Excellent drivers, in fact. They had no reaction at all to the study’s conclusions about women, gay men, and the brain’s spatial wiring. They just really want me to know that they are good drivers.

While theoretically this should make me feel safer, even my poor math skills tell me that most of us are average drivers. It’s just math, right? Most of us are going to be in the middle of the curve. Why are none of my friend able to come out to me about their average skills behind the wheel? After all, these are all friends who have shared with me the darkest moments of their lives: marital strife, self doubt, spiritual crisis, the prom. I guess all things in life go down easier if you’ re good at parallel parking.

I, too, am a good driver. I have irrefutable evidence: Last week my dad let me drive his brand- new car.

--Gay Guy