Gay Guy's Study Proves that Good Driving Skills Bridge Genetic and Cultural Divide

Straight Guy,

Interesting research, but I can’t tell you how hard it is to get serious when anything having to do with gay men is in the same sentence as both ‘Queen’ and ‘Mary.’ I’m sure there was a London Telegraph copy editor chuckling as that issue went live. (If you don’t know why this is funny, e-mail me for a tutorial.)

I polled some friends to see what they thought of the study. The results: All my friends are good drivers. Excellent drivers, in fact. They had no reaction at all to the study’s conclusions about women, gay men, and the brain’s spatial wiring. They just really want me to know that they are good drivers.

While theoretically this should make me feel safer, even my poor math skills tell me that most of us are average drivers. It’s just math, right? Most of us are going to be in the middle of the curve. Why are none of my friend able to come out to me about their average skills behind the wheel? After all, these are all friends who have shared with me the darkest moments of their lives: marital strife, self doubt, spiritual crisis, the prom. I guess all things in life go down easier if you’ re good at parallel parking.

I, too, am a good driver. I have irrefutable evidence: Last week my dad let me drive his brand- new car.

--Gay Guy

2 comments:

Gay friend of another straight friend of Gay Guy said...

I agree about the irony of "Queen Mary" doing the study. I also am miffed that they didn't exhibit a bit more solidarity and skew the study to prove that gay men are better drivers than straight men. As anyone who does quantitative research know, you can use statistics to prove almost anything you want, provided the study is prepared appropriately. (And, by the way, I am an excellent driver, unlike my gay brother who is absolutely dreadful!)

gayguy said...

Dear Gay Friend of Another Straight Friend of Gay Guy.... It is curious that you have the less gay (or at least more straight ) brain of the two of you. Do you and your brother have a private theory about this? Would you like to have a guest column here to discuss?

GG

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