Don we now our gay apparel

Hi, Straight Guy,

I agree with you about not understanding the buzz about Dumbledore being gay. I dimly remember my gaydar going off when I read about Dumbledore’s relationship with Gellert Grindelwald. The ‘Aha!’ moment: Dumbledore’s story is about a man entangled emotionally with another man who can’t properly reciprocate the feelings. Hmmm.... Where have I heard this phrase before?

But, I can tell you what’s not gay about Dumbledore, at least in the movie still of Michael Gambon that you posted --- that Wizard’s What Not to Wear get-up. No gay man in Hollywood designed, sewed, or filmed that outfit. Especially the hat. Just when you thought it was safe to live in a world free from rick rack...

I don’t care if the robe is purple. It’s not gay. (The pinky ring is another story... a gay one.)

Since I’m on the topic of gays on film, last weekend I rented the musical Hairspray. Oh my: Hairspray is the gayest movie I have seen since I don’t know when. Gay, gay, gay.

Hairspray doesn't have a gay character. It doesn’t have a gay plot line. It’s probably the only movie ever made about high school that resists a punch line in which a gay person is the butt of the joke.

It does, however, have the best ass shots on memorable mainstream film. Maybe not since Dirty Dancing has the rear view perspective been so well rounded. In Hairspray the sexuality is younger and more authentic. Lots of young male dancers shaking it in 60s pegged trousers or khakis.

Some of the shots are wide and show a chorus line of dancers, their asses lined up like appetizers on a party platter. Some of the shots are butt close ups. Magical moments when you can feel the loving lingering of the lens as it gazes over the back end of a pair of slim cuts.

So, Hairspray is a gay movie even though it lacks a gay character because, unlike in Harry Potter, a confederacy of gay men in costuming, wardrobe, behind the camera, and in the editing booth sent out a celluloid sonar wave: attention gays, attention gays, attention gays.

It’s good to have friends in the wardrobe department.

About a year ago, my friend MW and I went to the theater. One of the actorws in they play had the worst fitting pair of trousers I’vewe'd ever seen. Ever. Up his crack, loose in the wrong places, too tight everywhere else. Not just in one scene, but every scene. It was arena staging so that mis-clad ass was unavoidable.

As soon as the lights came up for intermission, my friend and I turned to each other and said in unison: “What the hell is up with those pants?" I still wonder who in costuming he scorned or pissed off.

I’d like to continue the discussion about Dumbledore. More later.

In the meantime, check out the science of gaydar (best defined here). Grab a hand mirror and take the test for yourself. Hair whorls. Who knew?

--Gay Guy