Yesterday, Gay Guy had brunch with DK, a wonderful straight guy, though not the eponymous Straight Guy of this blog. (I've always wanted to use the word 'eponymous'... )I've noticed that straight men never seem to say that they are going to brunch or that they have been to brunch. 'Brunch' doesn't seem to be part of the straight male dictionary. Or at least the abridged version.
SG, help me out here. Do straight men abstain from brunch? Am I sitting at a gays-only table? Is brunch, both noun and verb, one of the remaining gay/straight divides? Or do you gents just have a fear of saying 'mimosa' out loud?
I've checked with DK. He says he is not afraid to openly brunch.
I'm a bad gay. I am not a huge brunch fan, mostly because I am just as happy with two eggs scrambled and toast. Plus, starting the day with a lunch product seems unpalatable. Salmon is a post-night-fall food. But, I know that brunch sounds festive and urban. For a fun read on brunch, read on.
But, whether it was brunch or just an early-Sunday-afternoon frittata mash-up, DK showed up in fabulous new leather sneakers. He was worried that they were not sufficiently cool. They only need breaking in, I assured him.
DK's shoe question inspired us to jot down some shoe guidelines for men of both orientations. Unlike our Congress, we reached across the aisle in bipartisan support of the following sartorial policies. We hold these truths to be self-evident, but, like federal politics, it's always good to start with the obvious.
- Do not be afraid to wear dress shoes with jeans -- add a blazer for maximum impact (GG and DK)
- Do not wear dress shoes with jeans that have holes or tears (DK)
- Do not wear dress shoes with jeans that are heavily distressed (GG). (Do not wear heavily distressed jeans, period.)
- Most importantly, do not run in dress shoes. Unless you are Pierce Brosnan in The World is Not Enough, let the elevator go up without you, let the light turn red. Running in dress shoes is bad for your look (GG) and bad for your shoes (DK)
In other sartorial news, Gay Guy finally went online to buy that pair of Kenneth Cole ankle boots he'd been lusting after. Alas, no more size 8s. Why do so many stylish men have a size 8 foot?
Over to you SG. . .
4 comments:
Offtrack FYI: Shoes aside, I must apologize for whomever the straight was that created and/or cast the heroine in "The World Is Not Enough." Denise Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones, renowned nuclear physicist? Please.
How exciting! The administrator removed a comment! You are attracting the rifraff. Now you know you've made it.
Side Note(aka original purpose for comment): If we are making rules for boots - can we work on the rules for ankle boots? Like pants that cover them even if you are sitting with your legs crossed. Gawz. Do NOT want to see the sock hanging out of the top of the ankle boot!
Sad to say that the deleted comment was self-directed -- Straight Guy censoring Straight Guy! Alert the media!
Actually just a little too quick to hit the "publish" button on that one. But we could use a little scandal around here... maybe next time. Hmmm. What can I say that will seem witty now, but that I will deeply regret later?
--SG
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