Ad Watch: Straight Guys Ruin Everything!, Episode 143
There's a whole category of products that serve no purpose other than to give the whole family a giggle when opened as a gift. I guess that's fine. We've covered this before -- part of the modern straight guy's role is to serve as the punchline for these jokes. Everyone farts. But demographically, we're the only acceptable villain for a national commercial.
"Ha ha, that's funny because Dad is so vile and disgusting! Ooh! Let's take a picture of you with your new Butt Burp Barrier™! Hold it up and smile! Everyone else pinch your noses!"
Still, do we need to compare the generic husband's routine flatulence to the devastation of chemical weapons? If it's that bad, why not hide the bacon and barbecue sauce instead of changing to hazmat-grade linens from the Cheek Squeak Boutique™? Talk about treating the symptoms instead of curing the disease...
Back in college I knew a guy who would often torture his girlfriend with a dutch oven. I think he thought this was foreplay. This was only one aspect of their relationship that convinced me she suffered from some sort of dorm-based Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe this blanket would have made a difference. But I hear they're still married, so probably not.
... now where are those trademark applications ...
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