Straight Boy Cootie Alert!

Hey Gay Guy,

Some 9-year-old kid has just published a book on
How to Talk to Girls. He appeared on the the Ellen show, and is now richer than I'll ever be. I hate him. Isn't he adorable?

Sample advice: "Comb your hair and don't wear sweatpants."

Ouch, kid. Do you have to cut me to the bone like that?

Let's be honest. This kid's mom wrote the book. No. Doubt. About it.

Anyway, Here's the little brat tyke on Ellen, followed by SNL's take, which is probably the more honest of the two.





Let me risk a stereotype here. Isn't the ability to deal with 9-year-old girls one of the early indicators that a boy might be gay? Did it come easier to you than your friends? I imagine you developed conversational skills by age 10 that I was still struggling to attain at 21.

--Straight Guy

2 comments:

Straight in Upstate said...

SG-
I can't pinpoint the age to 9, but GG definitely had mad skills with the cute girls early on. Not so much with the smokers, the party girls, and the girl with the biker wallet who went by Steve, not Stephanie, but he was tight with a lot more girls than I was. My witty repartee consisted of "hamana-hamana-hamana" followed by tripping over a shadow.

Kathryn said...

I just heard an interview on our local radio station (I may be the only person still listening to non-sattelite radio) with this boy. I'll admit...I changed stations mid-interview. I'm required to care when it's MY 9-year-old speaking his mind...but relationship advice from a stranger's kid? Nope....gotta draw the line somewhere.

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