There's no place like Applebee's, There's no place like Applebee's...

OK. So I admit I was out of my element. GG did a great job at the game, only stumbling for a moment while seriously pondering his options for import beers. God forbid something from the Anheuser-Busch corporation should pass his lips. And the rest of the group was heavily invested in the wine deal, so off we go.

My "safe place" in scenarios like this is a corner seat against the wall, so job #1 was to strong-arm several intimidating ladies out of the way to grab my seat. Bottles of whatever-new were on the table in a flash. Never celebrated the uncorking before, but I guess it's a big deal. They do this world-wide, always right before Thanksgiving.

Never left my seat, but had a good time. There are a lot of easy conversation starters in a place like this (Point and say: "What's his deal?"). The owner and other patrons were more than generous with the wine. But the dancing wasn't nearly as "sleazy" as the host kept mandating.

From my observation point, I can confirm that dancing to an AC/DC remix while wrapped in toilet paper has all the gay panache of a NASCAR post-race party. I agree with GG that it's best to keep your wits about you when wine-blitzed partiers (of any orientation) start grabbing power tools... and if so, quickly move from the corner seat to a table by the door.

Geez, now it's "panache." GG, leave my vocabulary alone!

-- Straight Guy

1 comment:

Straight but Fabulous said...

Yes – yes – I feel your pain, Applebee. No TGI Friday suspenders and flare, no Ruby Tuesday blended drinks, no Miller High Life in a can.

Out of your element for sure, and yet you fared well. You chatted, you drank, you made snotty comments with the rest of us. I pay homage to your adventure with a little ditty....

Red, red wine
Stay close to me
Don`t let me be alone....(blah blah blah something something something)