Things Straight Guy Hates Immediately: Paint Colors for Manly Men

Gay Guy, 

CIL Paints, which might be the Benjamin Moore of Canada, has just launched a line of paints for men. Manly men, to be specific.

Don't worry. The colors are the same, but the names have changed, so that dudes will feel more comfortable. See the chart at right: Their pea green hue "Juliet's Potion" becomes "Zombie Apocalypse," for example. 

Here's the logic from the company spokesperson: 
“When it comes to paint names, it’s all about the emotional connection and our research shows that men and women tend to relate to paint names differently... Studies show that while a larger percentage of women tend to choose paint colours for their home, it’s often men who give the colours a final nod... We’ve had the occasional person who thought it was a little bit condescending. But I’ve yet to see a funny ad campaign that is thrilling to 100% of the world.”   LINK

Whatever. This paint naming game has always been hackneyed and condescending. I work in design, give me a numerical PMS code or RGB percentage breakdown any day. Keep your "Stormy Seas" and "Beer Foam" system, please. 

And honestly, it's probably better to stick with natural tones, folks. I've been in a number of over-painted houses lately. Let's all chill out on the brightly colored "highlight walls."

--Straight Guy

3 comments:

straight in upstate said...

Does anyone respect the people who assign names to colors? It's like ordering breakfast at IHOP - I refuse to say "Rootin' Tootin' Breakfast", I just point at what I want.

Molly Louise said...

My house-mate called the color in our living room "piss-yellow" in the presence of our house adviser. Doesn't get much better than that.

Though we have been given free reign to paint the downstairs, we actually haven't yet, mostly because we can't decide collectively what to do and none of us currently have the time.

Then again, stark-white does start to grow on you after four years of staring at it.

Gay Guy said...

I want to take a progressive view on this, but I am somewhat ambivalent here. Down with coming up with manly man names--tame the homophobia. But also down with weird paint names. I guess since there are so many tints, the names are the hard part.

(A housemate once painted our downstairs "Kitten Fur." Insert eye rolling here. Though I still have a chest he painted Kitten Fur as well.)

Self disclosure: Two walls in my place have accent colors. Nothing major, just a slightly darker tint of the predominant color. Like one chip up.

Am I getting defensive?

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