In the Zone?

Straight Guy,

I've been growing a goatee for a week or so. I've clipping it back to stubble with scissors, but it's time for a razor.

Do you have any idea how many kinds of razors there are? There was a 5-foot-wide, 6-foot-tall shelf span of razors in my Target. More than half of them for, shall we say, 'specialty work.' Goatees and beards and ear hair are the least of it. There are lots of below-the-chin manscaping tools out there. Tools for below-the-belt manscaping work, too.

Not our fathers' triple-headed razors, my friend.

I guess I'd never really thought out exactly how a smooth chest gets laid bare. And, I don't expect to have any first-hand knowledge any time soon. More on this later? Do you have any thoughts on manscaping, Straight Guy?

Here's my favorite part of the story. The box proclaims,"Trim & Shave All Bodyzones." What is a 'Bodyzone?' I know what a 'body part' is, but a body zone? Is it bigger or smaller than a part?

You know how they board planes. Sometimes it's "Now boarding aisles 15 through 22." Sometimes it's by zones. "Now boarding, zones 1 and 2..... Now boarding all zones."

Ah, yes. Now boarding all zones.

--Gay Guy