Further Fundraising Follies: To Friend or Not to Friend

Straight Guy,

More on the impact of fundraising appeals.

Like all cultural organizations, the theater where I have a subscription is financially stretched. Before the show last Sunday, the marketing manager came on stage to ask everyone to consider becoming a "friend" by making an end-of-year gift to help the theater meet a challenge grant.

The marketing manager was nice looking, and my gaydar went off with a confident clang. Once a guy sets off my gaydar, the next step is to check for visible signs of relationship status. No rings on marketing manager's hands. (Ring/no ring is not much data to work with, but when you are single, a clue's a clue.)

Marketing man was poised in the lobby after the performance. I am not good at effectively expressing my interest in other men, but, buoyed with pre-holiday spirit, I went up to him and struck up on conversation. My fumbling flirtations did not lead to anything solid, but he was friendly and there were lots of smiles. I called it a worthy attempt, then rejoined my friend, who was under-impressed with my efforts. She nudged me back over to marketing man. He and I had some more smiley conversation about how the challenge grant was going . . . and that was all.

So, do I give or not give based solely on my love of theater? Or do I exploit it, and send a check with a Post-it on it that says, more or less, "Hey, we talked on Sunday and I said I would make a gift and look here it is and you can call me to say thanks."

I'm not naive; I know that people who want you to make a gift are all smiles and interest. Lordy, at least those PBS appeals are free of sexual tension.

--Gay Guy