Pardon the interruption, Gay Guy. But I have an important message for some of our readers...
Hello, Straight Gals,
So, the October Cosmopolitan magazine includes a feature on "Fun Little Tricks Guys Love." These include helpful hints on shuffling cards, etc. But as you can see from the scan above, the headlinder tip is to "Use Your Thong as a Hair Tie."
You read that correctly. Cosmo is now advising that you wear your unfresh skivvies on your head. Their thinking is that when "things get hot and heavy" you might not have time to grab a hair clip or whatever, so why not just MacGyver a solution based on the materials at hand?
Ummm. No.
Look, there might be some woman, somewhere, with beautiful hair, great taste in undergarments, and just the right amount of sass to get away with this... once. But why risk it? Why start down the path that can only lead to some poor woman thinking she's superfine because she's twisted her granny panties into a sweatband? Not hot. Not heavy.
There's a time and a place for ingenuity, but if your panties look good while doing their intended job, that's all we can ask of them. You don't want men to start experimenting with their unwashed BVDs and boxers now, do you?
For anyone who feels that facebook-style social networking is cold and detached, and longs for a more personal connection... Let me remind you of how god-awful the good old pre-web days actually were.
Is there anything more hopeless than a desperate straight guy? And, hoo boy, is it possible that a few of them are simply, ummm, not straight?
Special thanks to the Found Footage film festival (coming soon to a town near you) for unearthing these gems. The only thing missing is a quick update, just to let us know which one of these guys actually found love, and an update on the criminal record and parole status of all the others.
Any of our readers make a late love connection, or have a flashback panic attack?
You were right. "Fame" is NOT going to live forever.
I don't know that I expected or even wanted the remake of "Fame" to be good, but I thought it would be at least fun. It was born to be fun. Basically, "Fame" is a musical soap opera about, well, a musical soap opera -- four years in high school for the performing arts.
It's not that the movie's bad, it's just that there's very little performing -- nor sex, tension, guilty secrets or gut-wrenching anything-- going on at performing arts high these days. Something else is missing -- gays.
No gays? In New York's performing arts high? For real? What movie about a high school for the performing arts doesn't have gay boys in it? We own that space! Are we moving backwards?
I hate to think of the 1980, when the original "Fame" was on screen, as a watershed moment in edgy pop film, but Fame pulled off a story line about a gay student's coming out. That and story lines about inter-racial dating, unwanted pregnancy, drugs, bad life choices . . all the good yeast of high school drama. This "Fame" doesn't have enough sexual tension to inspire/require any bad life choices. This is all the fault of "High School Musical."
Back to no gays in "Fame." Maybe I should applaud a screen play doesn't play the easiest gay stereotype card in the deck. We're supposed to infer that the voted-off-the-island, wanna-be ballet dancer is gay. Poor sad lad. Maybe if he trimmed his bangs and laid off the blond highlights he could see well enough to dance, and not have to pack his leg warmers for another long Iowa winter.
Fame or no Fame, my friend Bee and I had a great time. We got mimosa'd up and sang ourselves to and from the movie: "Fame, I'm gonna live forever. I wanna learn how to fly ... high!" Fame still has dancing in the streets. You just have it bring it yourself.
(2) There's definitely a powerful gay vibe to this pool party, right? Why do you think they made that choice? Some of the ogling seems a little overdone in that context, no? Or are gay guys just as shallow as straight guys supposedly are on this topic?
(3) The "star" of this video is also the writer/director as well as the chair of the Boobyball fundraiser. Check out the making of here.
Last Sunday, the Washington Post Style section explored the connection between dance and football (Leaps and Bounds by dance critic Sarah Kauffman). DC is a major NFL market, so on opening weekend the Post spreads its coverage to all conceivable sections (food, business, religion, you name it).
Few sports have more in common with the formality and artistry of a dance performance. ... In the most artful finish... our hero connects with a wide receiver, sending a whistling pass to a fleet Mercury who will rocket high with a half-spin and full extension, making the catch and keeping it inbounds by the tips of his exquisitely pointed toes.
Ugh. Calm down, lady. Yeah, it's factually correct that "fast and fancy footwork" is essential to success in either endeavor. Sure, you can improve your capabilities by broadening your skill set. It's called cross training, folks, and it ain't new. The Cleveland Browns famously pioneered this stuff in the 80s.
Is it any wonder that a few well-coordinated football players have done so well on "Dancing With the Stars"? That tap-dance quickness they practice, the control and balance they need for their game, can translate into sensational displays on the dance floor. Emmitt Smith waltzed off with the mirror-ball trophy in Season 3; Jerry Rice, Jason Taylor and even 300-pounder Warren Sapp have also swapped shoulder pads for sparkly tuxes and ballroom steps. Sapp, a retired defensive tackle, was as silky and light on his feet as Jackie Gleason.
Agreed. Professional athletes have already proven that they have above average strength, coordination, and timing. Plus, they get a boost in fan support for supposedly stepping out of their comfort zone. "Isn't he brave!" We'll, yeah. I've never denied that it takes major cojones to dance live for (and be judged by) millions of folks who may or may not be forgiving fans. And don't forget, DWTS is heavy with a gay/straight crossover vibe (anyone catch Tom DeLay shoot a smoldering glance and bootyshake in the direction of flame-o-riffic judge, Bruno?).
I'm sure they get ridiculed by a few, but I'd always rank pro jocks as favorites above actors in that format. Just common sense. But I guess my point is that there's no special connection between dance and football. So why do I detect a certain defensiveness coming from the dance side of this partnership? A dancer's perspective is no more essential or insightful than any other athlete's. Can't a quarterback learn valuable lessons in the physics of trajectory from a pro archer, for instance? Lineman from sumo wrestlers? There's no mystical, magical connection between the Bolshoi Ballet and the Buffalo Bills.
So, playfully emasculating professional football players will always work as pop culture theatrics. Tight end + tutu = comedy, right?
It's unexpected and incongruous. But it's not serious. Most of all, it's a worn out sit-com gag. If the cross training helps, keep up with it. But, in the end, dancing football players are a novelty... a distraction. And even gay-friendly Glee knows it.
Check out the clip below, where the football team's choreography training doesn't improve their skills, it only hypnotizes their opponents... and apparently the referees. Delay of game! (Skip to 2:15 if you only want to see the dance.)
I don't know how I missed this vid last month! Maybe because not I'm totally sure who Miley Cyrus is. She's the Hannah Montana merchandising dynamo, right?
Anyhoo, here's a video with seven gay guys doing it up to Cyrus' "Party in the USA," a song I had never heard before. I guess I need to be in better touch with my pre-teen nieces. The guys look like they had a blast making the video out on Fire Island. (SG, it's a longstanding gay vacation mecca.) It looks really fun.
Give it a view. Once you've seen 30 seconds of the video, you've seen it all.
I've been trying to see myself in this video. No luck so far. Is it that I'm just not free enough to camp it up for public consumption? Am I yet another victim of internalized homophobia? That a share on Fire Island is out of my financial reach (unless guaranteed sex comes with the lease, that is). Is it my aversion to bubble gum music. My "over the rainbow" impatience with the gay rainbow flag plastered on everything? Most likely it's the public ordinance prohibiting me from being seen wearing a small swimsuit.
Thumbs up to Walt Disney Company, who owns the right to the tune, for letting it stay alive and thrive on You Tube in its new gay version.
SG, once you look at this video, tell me what you think.
Looks like Gay Guy and I will never truly find common ground until Playstation releases God of War: The Swiffer Chronicles. Then, my friends, It. Is. On.
[And Mom(s), if you're reading this, don't be dismayed. You are more important to us than our crossword puzzles and iTunes accounts. We'll have to recheck our logarithms or whatever. But please, no questions about Zappos.com or online poker unless you want the honest truth.]
Readers, leave a comment and let us know what we should graph next. You can check out all of our previous gay/straight quadrant graphs here.
I loved this Happy Times essay from yesterday's New York Times (thanks for the assist, DK). Give it a read.
Nothing particularly gay or straight about it, but it's all about difference, and that's what our site is about. The curiosity, longing, or relief to be found in difference.
Here's a favorite bit. It's about parents and their children, but substitute whatever you like. "They claim to be much happier and more fulfilled than ever before, even though they live in conditions of appalling filth and degradation, deprived of the most basic freedoms and dignity, and owe unquestioning obedience to a capricious and demented master."
I am at critical status for some wardrobe upgrades. Yes, again. My plans to change the HR rules from a "casual friday" system to "maybe dressy on wednesday," are gaining traction, but it's an uphill battle. So I need new threads, pronto.
Not my top priority, but I almost bought these boots over the weekend when I rushed through Johnston and Murphy. I get grumpy when I can't decide, so I rushed right back out (typical shopping pattern for me -- be decisive or leave!)
I trust your opinion on many issues, and perhaps on the black boots question most of all. I know you've been trying to find your perfect fit for a while now. I rate these as snappy, but not fussy. Mostly for work -- clubbing not a priority (not now or ever), but you know this.
Pardon the interruption, Gay Guy. But I have an important message for some of our readers...
