Gee Whiz: Insert Joystick Joke Here

 

Gay Guy, 

In order to snark on this with the harshness it deserves, I'm going to have to pretend that I've never taken my iPad into the bathroom with me. 

Oh, never mind.

You can check out the past entries in our Gee Whiz series here.

--Straight Guy

Outside it is winter. But in here it's so hot.

Straight Guy,

This--and only this--could lure me into a store on Black Friday.

Extra charge for home delivery?

--Gay Guy

P.S.: Bonus points if you can name the musical from which I cribbed the headline.

Boyz n the Hoodie?

Straight Guy,

What happened to sweatshirts?

I don't mean style, color or availability. I mean what happened to the "hooded sweatshirt"  or "sweatshirt with a hood." It's all  "hoodies" now.  

Lest you think I live under a rock, I've heard of "hoodies." My nieces asked  for hoodies for Christmas a few years ago and  confirmed my suspicion about what a hoodie was. All good.


I was doing some online clothes browsing for myself this week and saw that more than one site had "hoodies" in the men's section. 


Ick.  Real men don't wear hoodies. Real men wear sweatshirts with hoods. When did a hoodie become something an adult man would wear?

My reaction surprises and bothers me. Being gay means a daily bumping up against what men are "supposed" to be/wear/say/do/want. There's some traditional straight guy stuff that I adopt and some that I reject. Why does "hoodie" sound like something that should not be worn by a man. I'm not a hoodie hater, I also was grossed out by a decade-long run of men's tank tops with straps that were dangerously close to make it a camisole top.

Shouldn't clothes go over my skin, not get under it?

Help! 

--Gay Guy

Ad Watch: Benetton Presidential Face Mashing

I am SHOCKED by this ad. Shocked that Benetton is still in business, that is. But I haven't been in the mall since last Christmas.  

Otherwise, ho hum. Benetton has leveraged this kind of high production value shock-vertising every few years. I'm not sure they can take much credit for moving the needle in terms of acceptance or awareness. They usually piss off more people than they convert, and that's not progress. 

http://unhate.benetton.com/  

Here's the idea this time: "Stop hating, if you were hating. Unhate is a message that invites us to consider that hate and love are not as far away from each other as we think. Actually, the two opposing sentiments are often in a delicate and unstable balance. Our campaign promotes a shift in the balance: don’t hate, Unhate." 

What? It's not that easy, Benetton. I can't just flip a switch and start loving Enya music and flan after all these years. Sometimes, we hate for the right reasons.

--Straight Guy

Things Straight Guy Hates Immediately: Paint Colors for Manly Men

Gay Guy, 

CIL Paints, which might be the Benjamin Moore of Canada, has just launched a line of paints for men. Manly men, to be specific.

Don't worry. The colors are the same, but the names have changed, so that dudes will feel more comfortable. See the chart at right: Their pea green hue "Juliet's Potion" becomes "Zombie Apocalypse," for example. 

Here's the logic from the company spokesperson: 
“When it comes to paint names, it’s all about the emotional connection and our research shows that men and women tend to relate to paint names differently... Studies show that while a larger percentage of women tend to choose paint colours for their home, it’s often men who give the colours a final nod... We’ve had the occasional person who thought it was a little bit condescending. But I’ve yet to see a funny ad campaign that is thrilling to 100% of the world.”   LINK

Whatever. This paint naming game has always been hackneyed and condescending. I work in design, give me a numerical PMS code or RGB percentage breakdown any day. Keep your "Stormy Seas" and "Beer Foam" system, please. 

And honestly, it's probably better to stick with natural tones, folks. I've been in a number of over-painted houses lately. Let's all chill out on the brightly colored "highlight walls."

--Straight Guy

And Then This Happened...

 

I hate to be negative about this noteworthy initiative, but isn't there is some irony in the fact that cycling can have a negative (or even permanent) impact on male fertility? [link] 

--Straight Guy

These Bitchy Words Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Straight Guy,

For some reason, The Sound of Music popped into my head this week. Maybe it is a sure sign that the holidays are upon us. 

Everyone knows the songs, but have you ever carefully listened to the dialogue? The Baroness has best lines. Here's an arch snippet. 

Baroness Schrader has Georg (Capt. von Trapp) firmly in her romantic/sexual sites. Things are going her way until the arrival of Maria, cutie nunster governess. Trying to get around the cock, I mean, road block that is Maria, the Baroness sweetly fastens her manicured claws around Georg, self deprecatingly describing herself:

"I am amusing, I suppose. I have the finest couturier in Vienna and a glittering circle of friends. I do give some rather gay parties. But take all that away and you have just wealthy, unattached little me.  . . . searching. . . . just like you." 


I don't know anything about writers Howard Lindsay or Russell Crouse, but something tells me one of them was gay.

--Gay Guy

Gay Guy Asks: Are You Stacked Against Me?

Straight Guy,

Just going through weeks of email that stacked up while we were crazy busy at work. I am embarrassed to say that this content tip from a reader is more than a month old. But still good.

I love the plethora of hot men calendars out there. They don't need to be porn-like to be fun. Remember, I have my hot priests 2012 calendar from my Roman holiday. Our reader sent in Men of the Stacks, hot librarians for 2012. Makes me want to check out some books, deliberately keep them until they are overdue, then have to pay the fine. 

I grew up using the public library on a regular basis. From junior high until I headed off to college, I was pretty much living there. It was a haven for a geeky kid more than it was an information source. I loved my college work-study job in the library, too. I am trying to get back into a library habit instead of just clicking on Amazon. 

Last week, I spent two days at a conference held in our city's main downtown library. I had only been in there a few times before. I have to say to was pretty impressed. Impressed that it functions as a semi-homeless shelter. The folks were pretty under control, but I don't know how the library staff comes in day after day and keeps their spirits up.

--Gay Guy

In the Genes? Gay Penguins Need to Collect Their Stud Fees?

Straight Guy,

Hope you are doing well under that sunny tropical sun. Remember to (re)apply that SPF40!

Readers--Straight Guy and I finally came off the work terror that has been mounting steadily for eight or nine months with a full-volume roar for eight or nine weeks. Things went fine.  Foolishly, we thought we'd wrap up a few projects, then resume normal programming, but last week was equally wild as the previous. 

SG is smart--he had booked plans to take the family out of town to someplace fun and warm. I am so jealous.

We've missed having time for blogging. To get back into the habit, here's news from the Toronto Zoo about Buddy and Pedro, two gay penguins. Well, no one knows for sure if they are gay, but the two lads are inseparable and they display mating rituals, complete with braying sounds.  Hot, right?

Here's the prob:  African Penguins are facing severely dwindling numbers. So, their "pair bonding" --such a sweet term!-- with each other needs to end so that their DNA can get it on with the ladies and keep the species alive. They are like stud penguins, I guess. 

This Noah's Ark stuff is a lot of work.

--Gay Guy